It’s not secret that I love Craig Ferguson. Not only is he cute and funny, I love how intelligent, opinionated, passionate and articulate he is. I bookmark a stack of videos, pics, quotes and things about him each week and usually Sunday is my internet catch up day, where I go back and take a look at all the bits and bobs I’ve saved for later.
I found this video via Tumblr. Take a look, especially for the bit at the end, from around the 7:11 mark:
I knew what the subject matter was in that bit, in fact I’d seen a transcript of his comments on the Rhianna/Chris Brown thing, but what I didn’t expect was my reaction.
I fully expected to cheer a bit, say “YES!” and basically be impressed that Craig has had the guts to say something about it.
What I didn’t expect, was to quietly start crying.
Even though I have been safely removed from my abuser for over 15 years, there is still pain. Even though I know now that the abuse wasn’t my fault, it still hits somewhere deeply when I think of what I and other women have suffered and are suffering.
A lot of good men say it doesn’t matter if they say anything against domestic violence. They think that their voice against such abuse is pointless and doesn’t change anything. I know it feels that way, in the face of “smack the bitch around” jokes and comments about how women just get to men so much that there is nothing they can do in retaliation but become abusive. I know that it feels like it makes a man powerless to speak up, or that it’s pointless.
I am here to say that it is not pointless. It does matter. You are not powerless in speaking up against men who are abusive towards women and children.
It matters most to those of us who have suffered and are still suffering. To hear a man say that hitting women is not acceptable means more than I can put into words. It gives us heart that there are men out there who would never dream of hurting the people that they love. Especially when being hurt by the person who is supposed to love you the most is all some women and children know. It gives us hope that someone is speaking up with those of us who are victims and survivors.
Most importantly, it gives power to women and children who are being abused by the men in their lives to make a change and get out of that situation.
So the next time you hear of a case of domestic abuse dear good men, and I now know you are out there, in the past 15+ years I’ve been fortunate to have many of you come into my life as friends, colleagues, and even romantic interests, do speak up. Say something. Say something publicly.
Because you DO make a difference, it does matter. I thank those of you who do.