One of the great things about WordPress as a blogging platform is the stats and information it gives you. Well, that and being able to send troll commenters direct to spam so I never have to read their bullshit. Probably the most eye opening piece of information is the search terms that people use to find your blog. At the moment, the number one search string leading to this blog at the moment is the phrase “what will my friends think about me dating a fat woman”.
So, let’s talk about it. Cos you know, Auntie Heffalump doesn’t mind sharing a bit of her wisdom and advice. Are you ready? Let’s go…
Who gives a shit about what your friends think about who you are dating?!
Because if they are truly your friends, and you honestly want to be with this woman (which you should be, or why the hell are you dating her?), they won’t give a flying fuck about what shape or size she is, they’ll care that a) you are happy and b) that she treats you well. Because that is what is really important, and any “friend” that thinks otherwise is not really your friend. And you shouldn’t be giving it a second thought either.
If you really like someone, let alone really love them, they will be beautiful in your eyes, regardless of what magazines and movies and people who profit from the body image misery of others say they should look like. If you’re dating someone that you don’t feel that way about, you need to ask yourself why it is that you’re dating them. And if you want to get some of that sweet, sweet sexy lovin’ from someone, you’d better find them beautiful and tell them so.
The same goes for your friends and your own body shape/size. If your friends or a date are judging you on what shape/size your body is, they’re not really you’re friends. True friends care about WHO you are, not what you look like or if you fit some kind of shallow ideal. I say get rid of those false friends and find some decent ones who really do care about you for the right reason. It was the best thing I ever did.
The thing is, what does someone’s physical shape/size matter if they’re a complete douchebag? I have a relative who is considered outwardly gorgeous, blonde, pretty, thin, etc – but she’s a complete bitch who treats everyone badly, so it makes her ugly to the core. Yet I have other friends who are fat, or have bad skin, or are hairy, or short, or a million other things that our media and marketing tell us are hideously ugly, but they’re so lovely that these “flaws” meand absolutely nothing to me. I don’t even notice these thing most of the time, unless THEY point it out to me. What I notice is their kindness, their intelligence, their sense of humour, their gentleness and so on. Maybe they have something that is considered unsightly, but I notice other beautiful physical things about the people I care about. A cute pixie face, gorgeous cheekbones, great hair, soft hands, lovely teeth, a beautiful smile. When you truly care about someone, something as trivial as fat or acne or whatever doesn’t matter a jot.
For those of you worried about how others think of you because of your physical appearance, let those thoughts go. Treat yourself well, look after your grooming and find a style that makes you feel good about yourself, and anyone who thinks that isn’t good enough is not worth your energy and emotion. Put your energy and emotion in living your life to the full and being a person that you can be proud of.
There ARE lots of people out there who will love you for who you are, not some shallow measure.