Don’t Cry for Me, Interwebz!

Published July 13, 2009 by Fat Heffalump

Just a quick clarification for those who are not used to seeing fat acceptance in the world.

This is not a blog to make people feel sorry for me. It is not a “poor me, feel sorry for me because I’m fat and people are mean to me” blog.

I will be sharing lots of horror stories. But that is not for sympathy, it’s for the following purposes.

  1. To share my stories so that other fatties don’t feel so alone.
  2. To raise awareness of just how deeply ingrained fat phobia is in our culture.
  3. To draw attention to just how hurtful, nasty and insensitive some people can be, in the hope that it will make others think again before making comments about people’s weight.

I just wanted to clarify that I don’t feel sorry for myself, and the stories that I’m sharing here on this blog are not for sympathy or pity, they’re for spreading a very firm message.

Stay fabulous!

5 comments on “Don’t Cry for Me, Interwebz!

  • I applaud your courage. Only recently some people close to me have come to realize how painful the, to them encouraging, comments they would make were. How "lardass", "fatfuck" and "fatty fatty 2X4" was supposed to be encouraging, I'll never know.

    People should be respected for who they are, not their clothing size. Fat hate is the last acceptable avenue for bigotry.😦 Alas the Gov't has jumped on the bandwagon making anyone with 20 extra pounds a pariah.

  • "Fat hate is the last acceptable avenue for bigotry."

    NO IT IS NOT. All forms of bigotry (racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, transphobia…) are still very much alive and kicking. Not one – NOT ONE – has been defeated and not one has been deemed totally and utterly unacceptable.

    As Kate Harding said, "While it is indeed more common to hear a vicious fat joke than a vicious racist joke on TV these days, for instance, that doesn’t mean fat prejudice is more acceptable – it means certain manifestations of it are more acceptable in certain places. But to suggest that this somehow means fat people have it harder overall than any other oppressed/marginalized group is flat-out fucking wrong and insulting. We don’t. We have it different. In many ways, we have it better. And those of us who belong to more than one oppressed/marginalized group have different forms of prejudice coming at them from all sides."

    – Frances

  • Frances, please use a respectful tone when commenting or replying to comments on this blog. I welcome all ranges of opinion, but hostile, aggressive comments are not welcome. I want to get that straight RIGHT NOW. This is going to be a place of positivity and support.

    Nobody suggested that any one victim of discrimination had it any harder than any other. Just that they perceived that fat hate is an acceptable avenue for bigotry. They are not the same thing.

    However, I do believe that fat discrimination is often accepted more overtly, more openly than other forms of discrimination. Not always, but often. The same people who will gasp in horror at a racist joke, or a homophobic comment, will turn around and make a fat joke themselves in the next breath. People who consider themselves respectful, open minded and accepting will make a fat joke, or police someone's eating or clothing, with no understanding that this is in fact discrimination.

    The question we need to ask is why is fat hate/phobia is not seen for exactly what it is – discrimination, as disrespectful as ANY other kind of discrimination, be it gender, race, sexuality, faith etc.

  • I'm sorry sas and Kath, I really didn't mean for it to come across as hostile or aggressive. I ride the caps lock for emphasis, not anger. I promise to be a bit more conscious of my tone in the future!

    Back on the topic of fat discrimination, there was a really great discussion about this on the Gruen Transfer: http://www.antiprejudicead.net/

    – Frances

  • Apology accepted Frances, I just want to set the tone from the get go.

    I did see the Gruen Transfer stuff and was kind of disappointed. While it did stir up some good discussion, it doesn't seem the message has sunk in at all, especially to Wil Anderson who still delights in making fat jokes. Ugh.

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