An open letter to all non-fat friends of single fatties.
- It is ok to arrange for us to meet single guys that you know, so long as you ask us first. Either blind dates or introducing us at an event.
- Ask yourself “Would I date him?” If the answer is no, then don’t suggest him to us. We are fat, we are not desperate.
- The guy that lives with his mother… is he caring for her or is she caring for him? If she’s caring for him, don’t suggest him to us.
- Do not suggest that we are lesbians unless we have expressed desire for women. Fat women are not all closet lesbians. It’s an insult to everyone to think this way.
- If you know that we are a lesbian, it’s ok to introduce us to other lesbians. Do not introduce us to other fat women on the assumption that we will just get our fat on together and become lesbians.
- Do not suggest that we may get more dates if we “just lose some weight”. We don’t want to date the kind of men who won’t date us as we are.
- Do not tell us “But you have such a pretty face.” when we complain about being single. This implies the following sentence “Despite your fat body.”
- When we are out together, and some guy behaves like a douchebag towards we fatties, do not then give him your phone number, flirt with him or have sex with him, no matter how hot he is. This tells us that some douchebag is of more value than our friendship. Besides, if he treats us badly now, he’s probably going to treat you badly later.
- Do not suggest that we should cover up any of the fat bits of our bodies before we go out. Yes, I know I have big fat arms. I don’t care, it’s hot and this sleeveless top is pretty.
- Don’t ask your fat friends for dating advice, and then dismiss it because they are fat and probably don’t get any dates anyway. They’re used to having to think more about how other people behave, they probably have the best advice.
- Remember, if you wouldn’t go out with him, don’t suggest him to us. Just gotta make sure you understand that one.
- If you double date with a fat friend, don’t comment on her food or your own. Nobody really cares but you, and you’ll just make your friend feel bad for no reason.
- Don’t ask your fat friend how she got a date with the great guy. She got it because she is awesome and he’s smart.
- Most of all, treat your single fat friend the same way you would treat any other single friend.
This morning I finally took the time to read this article from ABC News by the rather fabulous Sabra Lane, who used to be the President of the Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome Association of Australia (POSAA) on the “hidden epidemic” of Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). A very comprehensive article on PCOS by Sabra, and though I disagree with the concept of “lifestyle changes” actually being of any use, the article outlines the difficulty of living with PCOS that at least 11% of Australian women face every day.
A study in the UK a couple of years ago found some PCOS women experience the same level of anxiety that breast cancer patients do.
PCOS is a hidden syndrome in our society, because it encompasses many social taboos: excessive hair, obese/overweight women, childless women, depressed women.
Which is also part of the reason why this doesn’t make news. News executives far prefer to concentrate on young, pretty, fertile women.
Well, have I got something for you tonight! This article was published in the Courier Mail (Brisbane, Australia) today with the dramatic title of “Plus-size Models Doing Big Girls No Favour”.
But there are also many larger people who are just plain fat, and who would be better off being encouraged to lose weight rather than always be told it’s ok to be overweight.
But it’s time to get real – fat people may be happier but they’re also digging their graves with a fork, and we’re all paying for it.
Losing weight is hard work. It takes sacrifice and effort. As a mother of three in my late 30’s with a new gym membership, I know this first-hand.
I like how chemistry.com allows folks to state what body types they are attracted to: guys who only want women who are slender/toned/about average are guys I instantly delete as matches: this takes a lot of the pressure off of me when I GET to the date, because I know that the guy in question has stated and openness or attraction to larger women.
1) This means that I am deleting about 90% of the matches I’m given, which takes a toll on me eventually, and 2) I hate, hate, hate how often guys say (as one match I just got did) that they want women who “take care of themselves” and “have self respect for their appearance”. Of course, I do do both of those things, but I know full well that he means that he wants a thin girl; he just can’t bring himself to say that. Reading those sorts of comments over and over and then deleting the match… I think it takes a toll on me. I’ve also wondered about the BBW dating sites. Has anyone reading this had good experiences with those?
Before I get into the meat and veg of this post, did you see my new mascot, there on the right? That’s my new heffalump, created by the rather talented Luke Bamkin. I have got plans to change the whole layout of the blog more and feature this art more prominently, but I wanted to pop my new friend up there straight away, with her shiny, round, fat buttocks. Cute huh?