Today has been a cruddy day. I’ve just been blue all day, and pretty much for reasons completely unknown to me. Hormones or general depression, whatever it is, I’ve been having a very blah day.
One thing I’ve noticed is that I’ve been particularly annoyed and angered by hate statements today. Not just fat hate, but a whole bunch of stuff. Usually I can just go “What-EV-er!” at it, but because I’m feeling cruddy, it has been annoying me and angering me more than it usually would.
It’s got me wondering why people feel the need to just spew hate. I’m not talking about anger – anger can be useful and when expressed properly is not offensive or hateful. What I’m talking about are the hate statements that often go with anger.
You know, someone is pissed off, so they say something like “That fat bitch!” or “That ugly bastard.” or “You’re so gay!” They hate on something that has absolutely no relevance to their anger, ie someone’s weight, sexuality, appearance, gender, colour, etc.
My pet hate is when people describe something bad as being “gay”. That makes my blood boil!
I came to the realisation some time ago that these kind of things help nobody. They don’t help me, and of course they certainly don’t help anyone else.
What they do show is a lack of ability to express oneself. When people can’t think of anything specific to say, they hate on the incidentals like weight, appearance, gender, colour, sexuality etc.
A few nights ago I spotted a tweet from a woman that I was following on Twitter that was something like “This band is SOOO fat! And SOOO gross.” I was completely baffled at why an otherwise intelligent woman would just resort to such a cheap shot. I didn’t stick around to find out though, that’s the beauty of Twitter, an unfollow is an easy thing.
What it really boils down to is that commenting on or insulting a person’s appearance, abilities or gender is offensive. Someone has made you angry? Then complain all you like about their behaviour or their attitudes, but leave the cheap shots out of it. It’s childish and pathetic.
I don’t know though – I wish I had some answers on how to stop people just hating all the time. I know I’m working very hard on letting go of any negativity, that includes when people hurt me, I want to address their behaviour or attitudes, not who or what they are. I wish I knew how to challenge meanness and hate, but I’m at a bit of a loss.
How do you do it?