Four times over the past two working days, my outfits (that of Friday and today, Monday), have been described as “flattering”. I know it was meant as a compliment, but each time someone said, it made me cringe. Because what that really means is, that I look less fat in them than I do other outfits. Both days I happened to wear mostly black, which we all know tricks the eye out of noticing changes in surface shape, because it’s a solid, dark colour. I didn’t wear them to be flattering, I wore them because I had accessories in great bold colours that I wanted to show off, and because I love the individual pieces of clothing.
I read this post the other day about minimising body jiggle, and it really bugged me. Why should fat women hide that our bodies jiggle and move? Why should we hide the bumps and lumps and curves and rolls that make up our bodies? Because they offend other people’s eyes? Tough shit I say!
This is the thing. A person’s body is their body. They should never have to hide it or be ashamed of it, make it look less or more than it actually is, change it to please others, strap it in, smooth it down, camouflage it, restrain it, modify it. Unless they want to for themselves and nobody else.
Every single human body shape and size is beautiful in some way. The human body is an incredible thing to behold, and I believe that we don’t honour it in the way that we should. We batter our bodies, trying to get them to submit. We starve them, ignore them, over-work them, under-relax them, you name it. All because we want them to be something other than what they are.
I think we should let our bodies jiggle, if they have jiggles. We should celebrate their shape, no matter what shape they are. We should show them love and compassion. And more than anything, we should be kind to our bodies. We need them to propel us through life.
Wear your lumpy bits, your jiggly bits, your rolly bits, your bumpy bits with pride. Each bump, lump, jiggle, and roll is part of who you are and worthy of your love.
I wish I could find a clip from The Simpsons I love, where Homer Simpson is mowing the lawn on a ride-on mower, wearing tiny, tiny shorts, with a sign that says “Jiggling for Justice”. I love that bit. Instead I found this one that says it all pretty well:
Fat Heffalump 
Not quite the same shot as you were talking about. But “jiggly” nonetheless
Sorry dude, WordPress strips out links in the comments, but I think I know the clip you are referring to.
“Why should fat women hide that our bodies jiggle and move? Why should we hide the bumps and lumps and curves and rolls that make up our bodies? Because they offend other people’s eyes? Tough shit I say!”
Exactly! But you know how it is– assholes think that other peoples bodies, especially womens’, are practically public property and god forbid we offend them. Ooooh.
Our bodies inherently jiggle but we’re supposed to fight it. The only attempt I do to “fight it” is really a comfort one, can’t have my jugs hitting me in the face at the gym! If it offends anyone around me, I just stand there and be fat at them. 🙂
Rachel I know that one! If nothing else, it HURTS to have the girls swinging around too much!
A while back, my two year old (still mostly untouched by media messages about bodies) looked at my big jiggly tummy. She prodded it (it’s squishy!) and then she said ‘Mummy’s tummy is pretty!’
How awesome is that?
Listen to the two year olds, folks, and jiggle as much as you like. Because people who love you will always think you’re beautiful and the best part about that is that if you love yourself, you will know that you’re beautiful too.
Kids are adorable. They see the world just so literally. Pets are the same – a friend of mine’s two kittens just love my fat – they use me as a beanbag all the time.
I have to disagree with the idea that saying an outfit is flattering means that it makes you look less fat than other outfits. It usually means that the shape of the outfit works well with the shape of your body, or it could mean that the color of the outfit look good against your skin tone, or brings out your eyes.
Ashley when you’re a fat woman, “flattering” almost ALWAYS equals “slimming”. I look fantastic in purple, but when I wear a purple outfit that is more body fitting, none of those people come at me with their “flattering” comments that I get when I wear black. Instead it’s “that colour looks great on you.” There’s a clear difference.
Not to mention that there is no “working well with the shape of your body”. It doesn’t matter what shape you are – you can be boxy or lumpy or triangular and show those shapes off, you don’t have to wear clothes that “work well” with the shapes (which is usually code for “turns your normally boxy/lumpy/whatever shape into an hourglass”). Some women are not hourglass shaped, they don’t have to find clothes to make them appear so.
Just as “flattering” can mean either “makes you look less fat” or “makes you look good,” “be[ing] boxy or lumpy or triangular and showing those shapes off *is* one kind of working with our shapes!
I really like your blog. But I think it’s a little hypocritical to take the position you do, while carrying Google advertising such as this:
“Ads by Google
Kirstie Alley’s Diet Plan
New Weight Loss Program Designed To Fit Your Needs by Kirstie Alley.
OrganicLiaison.com/Kirstie_Alley”
Perhaps you didn’t know that Google was putting this kind of content on your site? That’s why my comment.
Best regards! Nancy
Nancy it would be nice if you had approached me with a tone other than “it’s a little hypocritical”. A simple “Hi, did you realise that you have weight loss ads on your blog?” would have been far less rude than the approach you took.
I don’t carry Google advertising, WordPress does.
Only people who don’t have a WordPress account (it’s free, worth joining!) can see the advertising. There is no control over what WordPress put up on their free blog sites (after all, they have to pay for this free service somehow), and it’s unfortunate that the advertisers prey on keywords to put up targeted advertising.
If anyone would like to donate for me to have a paid WordPress blog so that it is 100% ad free, please let me know – but as I do this on my own time out of my own pocket, it’s not something that I can control.
Again, join wordpress for free, you won’t get the ads.
I’m sorry that you saw my comment as rude. I simply thought it completely incongruous that a blog with your point of view would have that type of ad posted on it. As I said originally, perhaps you did not know that google ads had put this type of content on your blog, and so I wanted you to know.
Blogspot allows you to blog at no cost, and, as far as I can tell (having just looked at it with a browser that didn’t have any cookies from it) without advertising unless you choose to put advertising on it. Not shilling for them, but I think if you are going to undertake to publish, you have to be responsible for everything that appears on your page. Didn’t mean to offend; as I say, I enjoy reading your blog and think you express an important point of view.
I’ve been trying so hard to get myself away from girdles (which I talk about in my recent blog post).
I got the jiggles in the tummy and, it doesn’t bother me if I have long enough shirts that fit well, but that’s hard to do on a long torso with an unconventional shape.
Sometimes, though, I like to just like around and rub my tummy and feel the jiggle. Haha!
Thank you thank you thank you! I have a love/hate relationship with my wodgy bits some days. Mostly they don’t bother me, but occasionally they make what I’m wearing look wrong, then I get tetchy. However, my kids and cats adore my squishy bits. My son, when he wants to be extra snuggly calls me Squishy (also comes from ”he will be my squishy etc”) or Mama Squish. My daughter drew a picture of me in gorgeous bright colours where I had a distinct belly and she reckons that’s Mummy’s cuddly bit.
The cats use me as their preferred sleeping place of choice, friends’ babies automatically snuggle into my Mama Jugs (a mate termed them that lol) and relax and go to sleep. There is a point I promise. The point is, I agree entirely! Wodgy/jiggly/jubblies ahoy! As for the ‘flattering’ comment, it definitely DOES mean ”That makes you look slimmer”. Pfft to them and their ”flattering”!
Yay for warm, soft, cuddly, welcoming fat!
Nancy I’m quite aware of blogger and there are about three zillion reasons I moved Fat Heffalump away from there some time ago.
Rest assured that should I need assistance blogging, I will ask for it.
Since you obviously want to remain unpleasant about this, I will bid you adieu, and cancel your RSS feed from my reader. Sad that you could not be gracious enough to accept my apology for offending you.
Ahh how I love people who swan in, make their first comment a criticism, get shitty when you challenge them about their rudeness, and give a false apology, add some patronising “advice” that was not asked for, and then storm out in a huffy when they’re told it’s not welcome.
Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out lady.
Bwahahahaha, she really was set to just pick friggin holes wasnt she?
It’s a common attitude. Seagull commenters. Fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything until you shoo them away.
Yay for joining WP and cutting out those stupid ads. One day I’ll buy the full WP suite and cut them out for everyone.
BTW, I have a wordpress account now, I’m actually Amber.
I’ve gone to the beach twice this Summer. I was concerned about how I was going to look, but then I said screw it. I’m going to the beach to swim and have fun. So, I just went for it. And I had a great time because of it.
Excellent Sarah!
I just need to find a swimsuit that is comfortable and stays where I put it so I can do the same!