Ok so I dyed my hair pink yesterday. Not a soft, floaty, ethereal pink. Not a dusky, muted pink. But a hot as possible, obnoxious, shiny, LOUD pink. It wasn’t entirely intentional, the colour I used came out as a raspberry/cherry red last time, but this time the bleach worked a little more effectively and I had a blonde base underneath instead of a copper one. But I am glad it went this colour because it’s far more representative of my personality, and I’m quite heartily in love with my new pink hair.
I’ve found I’ve had two basic reactions to it. A lot of people love it. They love the intense colour, they feel it’s daring and bold and I’ve had a few comments that have been really fun. One colleague said it looked like a lolly (candy), and another thought it was like one of those Anime characters. I got in the lift and a lady said “Oh! I love your hair! It looks like a unicorn mane!” How’s that for an awesome compliment?
However, some people really take exception to my having pink hair. The people who know me are polite about it, they change the subject or they say “Hmmm…” But in the little over 24 hours since I coloured it, I’ve copped a lot of abuse from random strangers. When I walked to the shops yesterday afternoon, in a trip that was maybe 15 minutes there and back, I had half a dozen douchebags yell shit at me out of passing cars. Today I overheard a girl walking in front of me say to her boyfriend “Look at the fat woman behind us with the stupid pink hair.” A guy yelled and flipped the bird at me as I waited for the bus this morning. I got more catcalls throughout the day.
I believe there is a reason for this random hatred and the tut tutting of the people around me, aimed at me as a fat woman with loud pink hair. It’s because I break the societal contract.
Women are not supposed to draw attention to themselves. Fat women even less so. We’re supposed to be demure, delicate, submissive, quiet, elegant, classy, modest, self debasing, “feminine”. We’re supposed to feel shame about ourselves, to minimise, to be invisible, out-of-the-way. “Nobody wants to notice your fat arse, bitch.”
Women who make their hair loud colours, or wear brightly coloured clothes, or have tattoos are loud, brash, brassy, obnoxious, unprofessional, childish, juvenile, unfeminine, silly, outlandish, ridiculous, immature… the list goes on. The entire judgement of that woman’s character is on how she looks, without ever learning anything about her at all. Not a thing about her intellect, wit, kindness, honesty, passion, generosity is ever worth acknowledging when her appearance is outside of what is considered “proper”.
So when a woman does something bold with her physical appearance that makes her highly visible, she breaks the societal contract. She does what a whole host of people want to do, but don’t have the guts to do. So they get angry and take their misery out on women like that. How dare she do something that they want to but feel they can’t? And she’s FAT too! BITCH!!
How dare I not be ashamed of myself? How dare I take pride in being noticeable and visible? Who do I think I am?
I know y’all want to see the hair colour, even though I can’t seem to get a photograph to reflect the exact colour it is.* So I’ve combined a photo of the hair with a message to all of the haters out there who get all sweaty lipped and twitchy over a fat woman who makes herself visible.