A Bad Day Get’s Better

Published January 28, 2011 by sleepydumpling

I woke up feeling pretty good.  I had my outfit picked out (something I could never wear to work – denim skirt, leggings and a leopard print camisole), and was excited to be going off to get my next tattoo today.  I showered and dressed, and realised I had a little bit of time up my sleeve, so I jumped online and went to my Facebook page.  Unfortunately, the first thing I saw was a post that was intended innocently by the friend who posted it, but was actually a big ole pile of fat hatred.  Even though it was posted in good spirit, it was painfully clear that the person who made the meme (one of those Demotivational posters) was being hateful and pushing more fat stereotypes (the junk food loving gluttonous fatty) and some of the comments were of very bad taste.

I was so hurt.  I plummeted into a spiral of self loathing and shame.  It took every ounce of my intestinal fortitude not to cancel my tattoo appointment and go back to bed.  Then it took every ounce of my willpower to not change my outfit and cover my body, to stay in the outfit that bares my fat arms and shoulders, that is visible.

But I did the old “fake it until you make it” and set out for the day.  I’m so glad I did.  Wanna see my outfit? (Click here for outfit details)  Here you go:

OOTD 28th January 2011

I’m fresh out of the tattooist chair, their apprentice took the photo for me.  There’s nothing like the adrenaline high after a tattoo to lift your mood.  I went from hating myself to feeling amazing in the time it took my tattoo artist, Victoria (from Wild at Heart Tattoo in Charlotte Street) to do the piece.

The piece is very significant too.  I know you want to see it.  But I’m going to tell you about it first, before I unleash it.  It’s a piece that Victoria and I designed, inspired by the art of Rubens Cantuni, a fabulous artist from Genova in Italy.  He does these pieces called Tokyo Candies that I fell deeply in love with a little while ago, after seeing some of his sexy fat lady artworks pop up on Tumblr.  (Rubens is on Twitter and Facebook if you’d like to follow him too.)  I saw this picture over a year ago and absolutely loved it, but it was seeing this one on Tumblr about a month ago that made me decide I absolutely HAD to have a tattoo piece inspired by his work.

I took a bunch of his work to Victoria and between us we came up with a design that was just perfect.  Not only is she beautifully fat positive, but it’s a celebration of the things I love about myself too.  I only have to look at her to be reminded of the things that I feel good about myself.

Yeah yeah, I know, you just want to see the damn tattoo.  Well here she is…

New Tattoo

See, I told you she was beautiful.

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27 comments on “A Bad Day Get’s Better

  • You…are…awesome! I’ve followed your blog for awhile on Facebook (Mimbles put me onto you) but I’ve never posted a comment. You are such an inspiration – I love reading your posts. And that tattoo is gorgeous…makes me want one exactly the same.

  • That tattoo is amazing! I think you look great in that outfit! I love the singlet! I have a hang up about my arms and very rarely will go without a something covering them, but I work up the courage every now and then & nothing bad ever happens. Plus, now you have that gorgeous girly on your arm to show off!!

    • It’s only been the last 6 – 12 months I’ve been able to bare the arms. It’s easier now they’re not so pasty – I’ve got a bit of colour on them and don’t look so sallow. I figure if anyone has a problem with my arms, they can cover their eyes!

      That cami was a real bargain, I found it on eBay a while back and the seller has since disappeared. A shame, I should have bought one in every print/colour!

  • How do you react to fat hatred from so called friends? I’ve been known to delete acquaintances for sexism, racism, homophobia, and sizism but with friends- it’s so much harder. I try to talk to them, to counter, to debate in a civil manner… but when it doesn’t get through to them and they keep posting fat hatred?

    For example- one guy on my FB had a major crush on me (of course- since i’m awesome!) but kept posting fat jokes including a bit by Riki Gervais about how fatties wouldn’t need gastric bypass surgery if they’d just put down the potato chips. I was so hurt that I unfriended him- we got into a few message debates after becaues I wouldn’t re add him. He called me childish and overly sensitive and, infuriatingly, blamed my reaction on the fact that I have bipolar and was, therefore, “overreacting”. He thought that since he had a crush on a fattie that it meant he couldn’t possibly be sizist or have sizist attitudes. Sexual attraction does not mean equality (i can’t tell you how many white dudes i’ve run into who are attracted to black women but still think they’re below white people- hello, white men used to sleep with their slaves all of the time).

    it’s people that I know in real life that are hardest to deal with though. :-/ I try to follow the advice of Kate and Marianne and distance myself from hate and diet talk, etc… but it just seems so impossible.

    • I don’t consider anyone who engages in fat hate my friend. It’s as simple as that for me. I don’t expect people to be fat activists but if they disrespect fat people they are disrespecting me, and I will not have them in my life.

    • Co-sign. That person (or anyone else who throws your mental illness in your face to silence you) is NOT your friend. I would’ve deleted his ass too!

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