Yes, you. Yeah… the person reading this. I need you to know something.
There is nothing wrong with how you look.
There isn’t. Not a single thing. No, there’s nothing wrong with your butt. Or your belly. Your hair is fine, seriously. Who cares if you’ve got tuckshop lady arms, or skinny arms, or any other kind of arms, they’re fine too. That body hair you’re hating on so much? It’s alright too – nothing wrong with that. What did you say? Your thighs rub and are dimply? So? Mine do too, lot’s of people’s do. You’ve got zits? Well, skin does that sometimes. Double chins? Perfectly acceptable, I would even say cute. Come on, everything that you think is terribly wrong with you… it’s not.
Your toes, your feet, your ankles, your calves, your knees, your thighs, your genitals, your hips, your butt, your belly, your boobs, your back, your shoulders, your arms, your elbows, your hands, your fingers, your neck, your chin, your mouth, your nose, your eyes, your ears, your cheeks, your head, your hair… all perfectly fine to look at.
Yes they are.
When I see you, yes, I’m talking to YOU, in a photo, on the street, at work, on the internet, at a friend’s house, in a shop, at a school, wherever I see you, I don’t see those things that you think are hideous. I see you, a human being. Nothing about you makes me recoil in horror at the mere sight of you. No, not even you there, hiding in the corner.
All those things that magazines and advertising and TV and music videos etc tell you aren’t good enough about you, that’s bullshit. They are designed to make you feel bad about yourself so that you’ll buy more stuff. They lie to you on purpose. They make lots of money by lying to you.
Oh I know, there have been people who have pointed out things about you and carried on like they’re hideous, disgusting, gross. They do it to me too. But guess what? There’s something wrong with THEM, not you. There’s something wrong with people who need to humiliate other people because they look different. There is something wrong with people who feel the need to point out other’s “flaws”, as if they themselves don’t have any. They are the flawed ones, the broken ones, not you. They are the ones that need to change themselves, not you.
You hold your head high. Wear what you want, when you want. Live your life how you want, and what works for you and those you care about, not how anyone else thinks you “should” live it. Don’t hold back. Don’t wait until something changes about you. Do it right now.
If you want to change something, then change it for YOU, and only YOU. Nobody else has the right to tell you that something about you doesn’t look good, or right, or enough. Only you have that power, and only if you are doing it for what you think, not what other people think. Do you want to change something about your appearance? Ask yourself, “Why do I want to change this?” If it’s because other people say it’s not good enough, or even what you think other people might say or think, then ask yourself “Why does what someone else’s opinion of me get to dictate what I do to myself?” Remember, if someone is criticising you for how you look, the problem is with THEM, not with you.
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not good enough. You ARE good enough, every one of you. As you are, right now, this minute.
But most of all, remember that no matter who you are comparing yourself to, not a single person on this earth is more perfect than you are.
P.S. Here’s a song for you:
Thank you, I think we all need to be reminded of this sometimes!
Awesome. Thank you.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. ❤
Today, I needed to be reminded of this! Thank you!
You said it, Kath! Thank you!
You will never know how much I needed to read this today. Thank you.
Thank you x a million. You ROCK. This post should be read by everyone… It’s a keeper and something to call upon in times of need.
Hope you take your own words to heart too! xxxxx
I freaking love this post. Thank you, Kath, for habitually writing things I believe in better than I ever could.
Awesome…I should tattoo the whole thing on my body to remind me…thanks Kath x
Thank all of YOU. For listening when I feel the need to speak. For supporting me in what I do. For encouraging me when I feel a bit wibbly. And most of all, thank you all for allowing me to be me.
Oh thank you so much. That is such a wonderful essay.
I swear I need to print this out and tape it on my bathroom mirrior! Also, what a fucking rad song! Pink is awesome!
Please feel free to print it out and put it up somewhere visible if you feel it will help. Pass it on to friends who you think need it. It’s a letter to everyone.
Going on my fridge. Thanks xx
I’m bored with the cookie cutter media that wants everyone to look alike. As I have gotten older, I can barely tell the differences between actresses!
for every word…..thank you
Thank you so much! I needed this today!
Thank you for writing this. I’ve just discovered your blog and twitter in the last month or so and you are an inspiration.
I’ve questioned my looks and body my entire life, but it’s only been lately that I’ve stopped caring and just started being me. Knowing there are other people out there doing the same thing, just affirms I’m on the right track.
Thank YOU splatdevil.
I stumbled on this post today while searching the web for something unrelated. I’m glad I did; it may be the best blog post on the entire internet. I’m sending the link to my daughters (13 and 23). They’ve heard me say it, but there’s just something powerful here.
It is my pleasure MariN. And thank YOU for sharing it.