Dear Thin, White Women of the Media*,
I have to know. Why are you so threatened by the idea of it being ok for fat people to just be themselves, as they are?
Why do you feel that it is your place to speak for fat people, to intervene in our lives? What is so abhorrent about the idea of leaving us alone to advocate for ourselves? Why are you so determined to make fat people the scourge of society? Why do you feel the need to discredit us, denounce our ability to advocate for our own lives, our own health, our own standards of living? Why do you feel the need to post articles that only draw more fat stimga to us, without ever moderating the comments so that we are subjected to even more loathing than we already suffer? Why do you feel the need to make jokes about fatness, without any care or concern what the fallout of those jokes might be? Why do you feel that our bodies need to be publicly discussed and criticised, when you are outraged when your body is treated this way? Why do you say you are concerned for our health, when you know absolutely nothing about any of us, how healthy we are, what our histories are, and what it feels like to live in our bodies? Why do you think it is acceptable to draw attention to extreme behaviour from some fat people, as though all of us live the same way, that we are all somehow “freaks” that should be pointed at, as though you’re shouting “Look! Look at that fatty over there! She’s WEIRD!”
Why do you talk so much about positive body image, but make it clear that fat people are to be excluded from positive body image? Why do you speak about how as a society we should be talking about obesity, but the minute a fat person speaks, you shut them down, tell them they are not allowed to give criticism, not allowed to give their perspectives and discredit their experiences? Why do you feel the need to imply that fat people are of a lower class by referring to the correlation of class and weight, without any acknowledgement of how society as a whole pushes fat people further down the class ladder by denying them employment, equal wages, clothing, and general social status. Why would you do that unless as a way to highlight that fat people are somehow inferior to others? Why do you fail to engage with any fat people unless it is on your terms?
Why do you feel the need to speak about us, to label us, to put words in our mouths, without ever listening to what we have to say, or asking us what we are really saying? Why do you feel the need to twist what we are saying to make us look like a flock of fat harpies, intent on swooping down to peck at your bones?
Why are you interested in us at all? Why aren’t you living your own lives, merrily on your way, but are instead so intent on denouncing us as unattractive, unhealthy, unworthy, the crux of all societies problems? Don’t you have full lives that you have to live, to focus on?
Do we make you feel threatened, thin, white women of the media?
Are you worried that you might get fat if you don’t denounce us, denigrate us, demonise us? Are you concerned that if you let your guard down for just one minute, the fatness might creep up on you? Are you concerned that fatness is contagious?
Do you feel that if you have to “work so hard” to keep yourselves thin, that everyone should have to? That if someone out there dares to accept their fatness, they are some how cheating at the game of life? Do you feel resentment at the thought that there might be fat women out there not agonising over their bodies, not loathing themselves when you feel you should for any fat on your body? Is it that you feel that if you have to spend your life watching your weight, that it’s only fair that everyone should have to?
Do you worry that if fat people are allowed to advocate for themselves, you might miss out on something? That they might get something that you don’t? Does it worry you that if someone is left to look after their own health, and health needs, that they might get a little more medical attention, or a little more time in a doctor’s office (instead of being told to lose weight and shunted out the door, with no addressing of their actual health issues) than you do?
Is it just about attention itself? Are you concerned that if someone is paying positive attention to the fatties, they may not pay positive attention to you?
Or is it more sinister than that? Do you feel that if someone is paying attention to fat women for something other than to demonise their fatness, that they might stop paying attention to you? Are you concerned that if society in general stops judging women by how well they fit into a size 8 pair of jeans, and focuses on their wit, intelligence, style, kindness and skills, that you will lose that superior edge that being thin affords you over fat people?
I would genuinely like to know just what it is that brings you to the point in your life that you have to denounce, discredit, demonise other human beings just for existing as they are. After all, the Fat Acceptance activists you are so quick to shout down don’t harbour any desire for thin people to go away, to cease to exist, to shut up, to be eradicated, to be cured of their thinness, like you desire of fat people. Instead what we desire is a world where people of all body types, fat, thin and in between, can be left alone to find their own peace, their own health, their own happiness without being vilified for existing in the forms their bodies naturally take. Where people all body types are valued for who they are, not what they look like. Where people are allowed to be just that, people, not a symptom, a shape, a size, a number.
We don’t take up fat activism because we’re unhappy with our lives, we take it up because we want to reclaim our lives from those who would have us shut down, disappear, cease to live our lives to the fullest. We take up fat activism because we want the same rights afforded to all others. We are activists to celebrate our lives, not demonise the lives of others.
What is it that brings you to marginalising and vilifying other people based on their bodies? What is happening (or perhaps not happening) in your lives that makes this a cause you take up?
Kath aka Fat Heffalump