I need me a good vent! And you, dear Heffalumpies, you’re gonna hear it.
There’s something that really pisses me off. It’s the amount of body shaming and general snark that goes on wherever plus-size clothing retailers share their product. Be that on blogs, Twitter, their Facebook page or anywhere else their supposed customers can comment on their stock and catalogues.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe very strongly in giving businesses feedback, and if they treat their customers like shit, I’m going to say so. What I’m talking about is the body shaming and snark that goes on between the customers, about other fat bodies.
Now I completely understand wanting to be able to find clothing of certain cuts, and not being able to wear some styles. For example, I can’t wear anything that buttons through the front. Simply because I feel uncomfortable in it and they pull and gape over my magnificent giant boobs. I also don’t wear anything with high or crew necklines, because I feel like they are choking me. So if a company posts a picture of something with one of those features for their customers to view and give feedback, I’m going to ask if they have something that has a scoop or v-neckline perhaps, or simply leave feedback that I’m unable to wear button through garments myself.
What I am NOT going to do is suggest that they should not produce any garments with high necklines or button through fronts. Because that defeats the whole purpose of trying to get plus-size companies to listen to us. We need MORE options, not less. Besides, it would be pretty bloody arrogant of me to assume because I don’t want something, nobody does.
The other thing that REALLY shits me, is the way people comment with body shame. Instead of saying “I prefer not to go sleeveless.” or asking if there are any options with sleeves because they’re not comfortable going sleevless, we see “DON’T YOU KNOW FAT WOMEN CAN’T GO SLEEVELESS???!!!” Or “That’s just not flattering!” Sometimes they even say things like “You clearly don’t know how to dress fat women.” They assume that because they want to hide their bodies away, and that because they loathe their own fat bodies, that everyone should.
To my mind, plus-size clothing threads should be the ONE place we can escape from body snark and bitchiness. It should be the place we go to talk about fabulous clothes, to share the things we need and want while making sure these companies know what works and what doesn’t. After all, we’re all in the same boat – we’re all fat, we all need plus-sized clothing and we all have a vast lack of options (some of us less than others), so we should be working together. That doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything, just that we work together to get plus-size clothing companies to produce a variety of things in a suitable quality, price and sizing.
It’s so frustrating to have so much shaming coming from my fellow fatties. I know that’s because society tells fat women that they should hide themselves away, and be ashamed of themselves, but surely we have enough experiences with being shamed by non-fat people that we’d avoid shaming our fellow fatties.
All I want is to be able to talk about plus-size clothing options without seeing body shame! Is it that hard?