In the past 24 hours, there has been a metric shitload of trolling coming in my direction, all of it telling me that I’m fat and ugly, hideous, gross, and a bunch of other variants on the theme of my appearance. Because *wah wah* I don’t give them a boner.
I mean seriously, as if I care whether some random internet loser gets a boner over me.
I don’t know where they are coming from, or whether they are just one person or several (I think several, if it’s one person they have WAY too much time on their hands!) I actually don’t care whether it is one or it is several. There was probably a Reddit loser party this weekend or something. It doesn’t make a difference to me, trolling sucks no matter who or where it comes from, and anyone who trolls has my contempt.
What I do care about is that there might be others out there on the receiving end of this douchebaggery, and they may not be able to dismiss this kind of hate so easily. I remember what that was like. Where I tried constantly to be what other people wanted me to be. When I cared whether or not complete strangers found me attractive or not. It’s scary and painful and bloody difficult feeling like that.
My lovelies, screw what anyone else thinks about you. Find your inner fabulous. How your fabulous manifests itself might be different to the way mine does, but it’s there. Whether it’s through attitude, or the clothes you love, or the colours you surround yourself with, or how you decorate your house or even the stuff you like to read/watch/listen to… you have fabulous in you. All you have to do is harness it.
I was faffing about with Aviary on Flickr and I made a thing. Because it’s the truth:
I love this dress. It always helps me harness my fabulous. It’s a gorgeous colour, such a fantastic cut and I feel totally comfortable in it. Clothes that I love are my way of expressing my fabulous. It has taken me forever to build up a wardrobe of clothes that truly express who I am, but I now know that I can open my wardrobe and put on a frock and feel it communicates just how fabulous I feel.
How do you harness your fabulous? If you’re struggling with harnessing your fabulous… how would you LIKE to do so?
If I may, I’ve got a couple more adjectives I want to throw on the pile about your fat ass. Magnificent, formidable, brilliant, hilarious, colorful, intimidating, and talented… just for starters. To hell with ANYONE who says you gotta “look purdy” while you got all that going for you!
“Reddit loser party…” – *snort* that’s gold!
I struggle with harnessing my fabulousness, but I’m working on it every day. Today I coloured my hair for the first time and I feel amazeballs.
You know I’m an advocate for fabulous hair colouring VickiR! What colour did you go?
Everyone needs to harness their own version of inner fabulous, not someone else’s. Power to you 🙂
You are such a rockstar! Seriously. I adore you and your attitude!
Who are these weirdos?! Its so ridiculous that people spend time trying to upset others. What a waste of space.
Fat? Yes, if you define fat according to the BMI-definition of morbidly obese, yes, we are fat. That is a description, not a very exact one, as you have to define that but yes, it works, a reader gets an idea, what you mean, when you describe a person as fat.
Ugly? That is a judgement and says something about the judge and his/her standards, it says nothing about the person described as such. Does absolutely nothing for a reader if you describe a person that way. So, it is an empty word, contains no facts. Just emotions from the judge. Why should you feel hurt if a balloon is thrown at you?
Fabulous? No way 😉 – I am WAY TOO REAL, not a fairy tale creature 😛 Of course we are fabulous – and underrated – way underrated. Their loss. If a friend underrates me, I can pleasantly surprise him/her – if an enemy does the same – his/her mistake – will not get a chance to make it twice.
That dress is very Minnie Mouse! I love it and I reckon you’re rad. Great article and great boost even to those of us who aren’t in the public eye and yet still feel a bit down about this kinda stuff.
We shouldn’t be worried by what others think how we should look or be, as long as we are comfortable in our own skin, then that is all that matters. You look amazing and are proud of who you are 🙂
I LOVE this photo of you Kath! It is truly fabulous, you look stunning and I know I probably shouldn’t be overly concerned about looks but I love to see fabulous people wearing fabulous clothes and looking ….. Well ……. Just fabulous. Love your posts and look forward to reading them.
Argh, fucking trolls. Such assholes. You ARE fabulous!
You look fabulous and I love your outfit.
My fabulous abounds in the kitchen. I whip up pastries most people have only tasted from bakeries just because I wake up and think it’s a good day to make choux paste. Profiteroles for EVERYBODY!!!!
I like to show my fabulous off with accessories… like my most recent addition, my carp purse, Diem. He’s all purple and orange and holds my keys and wallet for me nicely. Also, my hat collection is nearly legendary.
Then there’s my party trick where I sing like Grace Slick. Seriously, the pipes are awesome.
Best of all, I show my fabulous by refusing to give a flying fuck what people think of how I comport myself in public. I eat what I please, walk with my head held high, laugh out loud, and sometimes even tip my hat to passers-by. Why? Because it’s a hell of a lot more fun than spending all my time apologizing to the world for no apparent reason.
This is my life. So far as I know, it’s the only one I’ve got. I intend to enjoy it as much as I can.
Twistie I love all of this and wish I could play with you in real life!
Twistie love, you exude fabulous everywhere you go.
God I love that red outfit. I was thinking the other day how powerful it is not to give a shit about whether other people find me sexually attractive or not. Being indifferent is one of the most radical things a woman can do. ‘Cos once you take away the ‘you’re fat and ugly’ insults, what have these people got? A big load of nothing.
You’re spot on about that. I’ve got far more important things in life to focus on than whether or not someone gets a boner from looking at me!
Even on a not so great day Kath you are way more fabulous than any troll. Love that dress! Red is definitely a fantastic colour for you.
That outfit is very you. It’s not my general taste but I can totally see why you picked it. It’s bold, bright and challenging, kinda like you.
You totally rock that outfit and most definitely fabulous.
Well, I see a pic of a really happy woman having fun in an outfit she loves. Awesome!
You ARE fabulous in that dress and you are completely right about the trollers. Who cares what they think? They apparently are not the kind of people anyone wants to associate with ever anyway!
I hope lots of people get and take your message to heart about themselves. It’s a new year and a new time to embrace your own fabulous!
The trolls seem to think that they’re so important that they can influence our lives. Other than to tell them where to shove their attitude, WRONG!
I have boots. Boots with a reasonably high but also quite solid heel. When I walk on a wooden floor, or a cement floor, or pretty much any floor without carpet, each step makes a commanding “thunk”. It’s a unique sound – not like a work boot, or a man’s boot, or the tap-tap-tap of a fragile high heel. It’s a sound that announces I am there. I am a presence.
Just hearing myself make that sound as I move makes me stand taller and move with more confidence. These are the boots of someone who has ARRIVED. They encourage and announce my fabulousness in an unmistakeable way.
Those boots are made for walkin’ hey TropicalChrome?
That dress (your whole outfit, actually) is FAB-U-LOUS!!! What’s the lippie? I must have it!
To be honest Mitzy it was a custom job by the makeup artist on the day. He blended it from several colours. Makeup artists love me because they can use those deep, bold reds on me.
You are fantastic and I love that dress! Red is really your color! Keep on keeping on fabulous you!
I get trolls in the street calling me “Buddha”. I’m short, round and my belly sticks out. I used to care, but now I’m like, “Hell yeah, worship at my temple you bastards, I’m awesome”
People like you have helped with my journey and thought it is never easy, it’s rewarding as fuck and I am glad I started the journey.
I love it Facepalm! (great username by the way). Buddha was a prophet and a great man… nothing to be ashamed of being associated with him.
Maybe I need those words on a t-shirt. Seriously.
Go for it H!
There’s a name for what afflicts the haters – it’s called JEALOUSY!!!! You look MAHVELOUS, DAHLING!!!! They only wish they looked that good. What a sad pathetic excuse for a life they must live if they have to hate on other people to make themselves feel better. I’d almost feel sorry for them…almost.
Pretty much DizzyD – an emotionally strong person doesn’t behave like that.
Yes! Yes to all of this. Adopting the “I am not responsible for your boner and in no way feel bad about that” attitude is a good lesson for women. I admire your strength and want you to know that you inspire me to embrace and practice self-acceptance everyday.
I got trolled for the first time earlier this week. It was very weird, receiving all this hate by people who don’t know me at all, based upon only a picture of my face. Fortunately, I was able to detach and not get too bothered by it AND I have fabulous friends to lean on, but this post certainly put a smile on my face! We are quite fabulous and no amount of trolls can take that away from us!
I want that dress! 🙂
Sadly Murphy it’s not available any more, and I’m not parting with mine! It is from the Leona+ range by Leona Edmiston for Myer.
Truely fabulous, I know when I am just about ready to hide in a closet or feel like I can’t walk into another shop or resturant I think about you Kath and how you keep going day after day being harrassed by idiots and I put my chin up and remember that I belong to one enormous club and I am proud of it.
June love, you are an amazing woman, don’t ever forget that. You astonish me every day with your strength and generosity towards your family.
I can’t understand why anyone would take the time to make hateful comments. Do they feel threatened somehow? I disagree with plenty of things I read in people’s blogs, but why waste precious time and energy being negative? Surely people can just think “OK, I don’t find her attractive and I don’t like what she has to say, but I’m glad she’s happy”, and leave it at that?? I think I must be too nice and/or naive.
BTW I don’t agree with everything you say, but I still think you rock!!
I don’t believe people have to agree with me. Disagreeing with me isn’t the same as attempting to make me feel bad about myself or leaving hate on my blog. If people were able to disagree with me as an intelligent adult without resorting to name calling, re-inventing the truth or ignorance, then we might be able to have a discussion.
But as they can’t, all bets are off and I’m going to have some fun with their drivel.
I love you!!! Your dress beautiful…..you inspire me!!
The picture of you in the awesome red and white dress made me smile. You are the very definition of fabulous. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Xo
Thank you to all of you who have left kind words, support and compliments. You’re all fabulous – if nothing else in your kindness and generosity. But I’m sure there is plenty else there!