music

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Stuff I Dig Volume 1

Published October 13, 2013 by Fat Heffalump

As part of trying to get back into the swing of things, I’ve decided to attempt to do a semi-regular post of things that I find online that I really dig.  Be it interesting articles, fatshion, artworks, things that make me laugh.  A kind of potted view of the things I post all over the internet, be it Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or anywhere else I lurk about.  It gives me a chance to signal boost some cool stuff, and to talk about the things I dig with you all.  Sometimes it might have a method or layout, other times it might just be a hotch potch of stuff.

I really encourage  you to share stuff in the comments that you’ve been interested in, but please keep it to positive stuff – no posting some shitty journalist hating on fat people, or any other douchenozzle behaving badly.  Let’s not give those people the signal boost.  Though thoughtful and kick arse responses to douchecanoes are welcome!

So, let me see, what have I been into lately…

Fat Activism

Gradient Lair on Thin Privilege and Intersectionality

A powerful piece from Rebecca Shaw on coming out as fat.

Kyla the Great’s tips on dealing with haters and harassers.

My favourite piece of the past few days, Elizabeth Tamny on the visibility of fat people and THAT Elle cover with Melissa McCarthy.

Caitlin Seida writes about how her photograph was stolen online and set upon by Reddit trolls.

Fatshion Inspiration

My lovely friend Bek, she of Colourful Curves, wrote an excellent guest post on Suger Coat It on how to do fatshion on a budget.

Check out these amazing paua shell look nails by karengnails:

paua nails

Here’s Jodie of Fat Additives looking as fierce as fuck in Autograph:

fat additives

I made such a noise of awe when I saw this photograph of Leah from Sweet Tea Kisses:

sweet tea kisses

I loved this post from Maiya Mayhem on fashion rules for fat girls:

Screen Shot 2013-10-13 at 1.33.41 PM

Feminism

I love this piece by Laurie Penny on the idea that feminism needs re-branding.

Skepchick on why she doesn’t go to the police when she is on the receiving end of online threats and harassment.

A Good Cause

You know how hard it is to find a decent bra?  Well, some women have it way, way harder than we do.  And we can help them by sending them bras in pretty much any condition (yep, they need them that bad!)   So you know those bras you have kicking around that have a broken underwire, or don’t fit you?  Send them along to the Uplift Project.

Cuteness

Hear the mighty lion roar!

If you follow me on Tumblr at all, you know that I am totally besotted with Tom Hiddleston.  I mean look at how pretty he is:

hiddles 1

hiddles 2

No really, he’s delicious.  Look, here he is practicing swordplay for the upcoming production of Coriolanus (which I have tickets to a broadcast of!)

Nipples!

Nipples!

Food

Look at how gorgeous this polka dotted cake is!

polka dotted cake

Laughs

Read the reviews on these sugar free gummi bears.  Maybe don’t read them in public (or at the office lunch table like I did – I got stares!)

Jess of Ghost of Enid has done this brilliant set of Tony Abbott: Minister for Women posters.  Political statements are so effective when infused with humour.  Here’s an example:

minister for women

And here’s Kermit the Frog doing his take on Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball”:

wrecking ball

Other Fab Stuff

Does anyone want to buy me a house?  I mean look at this library:

dream library

Music

Let me finish with the most kick arse girl band you will see in a long, long time.  You need to watch to at least 2 minutes in to get the full benefit.

Body Positive Music Videos

Published April 24, 2011 by Fat Heffalump

While I’ve been tootling around online this afternoon I’ve had YouTube running in the background with various music that I was lucking into, and I got into a bit of an Aerosmith jag.  I love Aerosmith (and have had an on-off crush on Steven Tyler for about 25 years) and while I was fiddling about on Tumblr, this song came up.

I flicked over to watch the music video, and was struck by just how diverse and positive the bodies presented in it are. There’s a bit of something for everyone in there, isn’t there? And while someone said to me a while back that they thought it was a bit of a “freak show” aspect, I have to disagree. Everyone is presented the same, on that white catwalk background (including the band) and just dancing to the music, regardless of age, gender, body shape/size, sexuality, race etc. I love that there are modified bodies and “original” bodies too.

It got me thinking – what other body positive/diverse music videos are out there? Have any of you got some you can suggest? I’d like to make a list.

Silk or Leather, Or a Feather

Published February 25, 2011 by Fat Heffalump

I just found myself having a little surprise cry.

Every night I scroll through Tumblr and have a look at all the bits and bobs people post.  I love Tumblr*, it’s full of inspiration, cuteness, discussion, news, cupcakes, fat positive photographs, laughs and food for thought.  So tonight I was scrolling through and came across this post from Marianne Kirby**, where she explains what she would like to have as her next tattoo.

I read the sentence that she has chosen to be part of her next tattoo, and my world stopped still just for a moment:

 

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

 

For those of you who don’t recognise it, it is a lyric from an Adam and the Ants song, Prince Charming.

As I read that sentence, something in me just clicked.  My 13 year old heart started beating so hard in my 38 year old chest.  A flood of memories came back to me, and I was almost instantly transported back to the early 80’s and my pre-teen/early teens.

And I cried.  I’m still crying on and off as I write this post.

I am not sure how I came to forget that sentence, that lyric.  It meant so much to me once.  I clung to it so hard, I repeated it over and over and over in my head.  It’s no secret that I was a bullied kid, nor is it a secret that I came from a background of domestic violence.  And I remember.  Oh how I remember, the feeling that nobody in the world cared about me, that everyone was cruel and hateful and that I was worthless.  But I also remember the lifeline that song threw me with that one lyric.

 

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

 

When I was feeling at my very lowest.  When I was being beaten, bullied, humiliated, shamed… that lyric would pop into my head, and I would hear that song in my mind, and I would just escape.  Escape into a world of dandy men and powdered and pouffed women, with their faces painted in bright colours, a world of silk or leather, or a feather.  A world that was bright and beautiful, a world where ridicule was nothing to be scared of.

I think that part of me shut that memory out.  It hurts so much to remember that time.  Because the PTSD is always close to the surface and sometimes it’s easier to forget than acknowledge things and let the emotions come back.  Thing is, something as simple as a lyric, or an image, or a piece of music, or a scent, brings it all flooding back.

But the thing is, that lyric STILL means a lot to me, just for different reasons.  Because after a lifetime of using the lyric to escape, I realise now that it’s reality, not escape.  Ridicule IS nothing to be scared of.  I used to be terrified of people making fun of who I was, so I hid in a persona that was not me.  I dressed how I thought others wanted me to dress.  I behaved how I thought others wanted me to behave.  Only to be absolutely miserable, and people ridiculed me anyway.  So I came to a point (with thanks to therapy and the Fatosphere) where I figured if I was going to be ridiculed, then I may as well be ridiculed for being, wearing and doing the things I love. The surprising thing was that being ridiculed ceased to be painful.  It became a reminder that I was doing something that was important to me.  Even if I had forgotten the source of that belief, the lyric that taught me that no matter how much fun people made of me, if I’m doing something that makes me happy, there is no reason to be afraid of that ridicule, to be shamed by other people’s narrow-mindedness.

And that’s what makes me able to get tattoos of fat ladies, shave my head for charity and wear bright colours and kitschy accessories.  I’m confident enough to wear silk or leather, or a feather.  Thanks to the knowledge that ridicule really is nothing to be scared of.

So thank you Marianne, for sharing your next tattoo idea.  I have to apologise though, because at some point in the future, we’re going to have the same sentence tattooed on us.  I feel like I can’t not get it permanently marked on me now.  But I promise that it will look nothing like yours and I’ll tell the story of how an old memory was brought back to me and reminded me of my strength.

Oh look, have the song while we’re at it.  It’s so camp and theatrical, I still love it:

*This is my Tumblr blog if you want a look.
**Marianne’s main blog The Rotund can be found here.  It’s one of the best blogs you will read.

My Anthem

Published February 28, 2010 by Fat Heffalump

A short but sweet post tonight.  I’ve recently got into Glee, and bought the soundtrack a couple of weeks ago.  By far my favourite track on the album is the Jill Scott song Hate on Me, sung by Amber Riley (gorgeous, gorgeous Amber!)

Here you go, I found a YouTube version:

Not only does that girl have a fantastic voice, but it’s a bit of an anthem for me.  There is not a day goes by without me copping some hate from someone simply because I am fat.  I also get it because I am an outspoken, outgoing woman.  People feel threatened by that.  It used to make me very, very depressed but now I just let it roll by.  Thing song sums it up beautifully.

Being a fat blogger draws even more hate.  I get hateful trolls leaving comments here every single day.  Some of them would make you sick.  But I have a good filtering system in and can block them easy peasy.  And I go on to do what I do without giving another thought to them again.

Ooh look I found the lyrics:

“Hate On Me”

If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would even matter
You’d still be mad at me
If I can find in all this
A dozen roses
Which I would give to you
You’d still be miserable
In reality
I’m gon be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults
For all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may
Break me down when I say

That it ain’t up to you
Gon on do what you do

[Chorus:]
Hate on me hater
Now or Later
Cause I’m gonna do me
You’ll be made baby

(Go head and hate)
Go head and hate on me hater
I’m not afraid of
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me…

Ooh if I gave you peaches
Out of my on garden
And I made you a peach cobbler
Would you slap me out?
Wonder if I gave you diamonds
Out of my on womb
Would you feel the love in that
Or ask why not the moon
If I gave you sanity
For the whole of humanity
Had all the solutions for the pain and pollution
No Matter Where I live
Despite the things I give
You’ll always be this way
So go ahead and …

[Chorus x2]

You Cannot…
Hate On me
Cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny
So Shall it Be
[Repeat x2]
[Chorus]

Isn’t it a great song?  The next time someone lays some hate at your feet, play this one, I’m sure it will make you feel better.

Or if you have your own anthem, share it with us!