Tattoos and Candy Coloured Hair: Sending a Message to Young People

Some few weeks ago you might have seen some furore around the traps about a tattooed Barbie Doll with pink hair being sold.  This Barbie doll (pictured below) is a collectable collaboration between fashion/accessory label Tokidoki and Mattel, makers of Barbie.  There was a lot of furore about this doll corrupting children somehow despite being a very expensive collectable few children (if any) will ever own.  Tokidoki Barbie (originally $50US) sold out very quickly and I have since seen them showing up on eBay for around $500.

Now of course, I have some issues with Barbie in general, mostly around her unattainable standard of beauty and body shape, and the lack of diversity of race available in Barbie, a doll that is marketed all over the world – that all needs a post of it’s own.  But what I noticed was the repeated message that went with this collectable tattooed, pink haired Barbie is that tattoos and candy coloured hair are trashy, low class, unintelligent and even mark a woman as promiscuous.

As a tattooed woman who usually has pink hair myself, I take some exception to this message.  Just reading around a few articles on this doll, I found the following quotes:

“I think it is horrible and sends the wrong message to young people”

“In no way should a tattoo be honored.”

“Encouraging children that tattoos are cool is wrong, wrong, wrong. Mattel why not put a cigarette and a beer bottle in her hand while you’re at it!”

and my favourite:

“Forget being a doctor, this Barbie sports a pale pink bob and is covered with tattoos on her neck and shoulders.”

So someone with tattoos and coloured hair can’t be a doctor hmm?

Well, being a tattooed, pink haired librarian myself, I put the word out on Twitter and Tumblr and asked for candy-haired, tattooed women to come forward and share their stories, just to see what kind of women have brightly coloured hair and tattoos.

Bri of Fat Lot of Good (above) is a counsellor, social worker and social justice activist, as well as being a Mum to two kids.  She got her first tattoo when her son was about 6 months old, and now has 7 tattoos.  She has also had pink, purple or red streaks in her naturally black hair.  Bri has never had anyone say anything negative to her face about her tattoos, though she has sensed disapproval but chooses to ignore it.  She feels that she gets more disapproval for her fatness than she does her tattoos.  She finds that generally her family and friends are very accepting of her tattoos, though her Dad has made it clear that he hates tattoos and has voiced “at least they can be covered up”.  She has also found that in her work life, people are interested in hearing the stories behind her tattoos, and in some cases have been helpful in engaging with her clients.  She does admit that  her tattoos are mostly covered though, and are fairly discreet designs.

Rachel of Very Busy and Important (above) is the Director of Location Services for a television network based in Chicago, IL.  She is a liaison  between station viewers and partners and it’s various departments at headquarters, developing both operational and marketing-based support programs for each.   She got her first tattoo at 22 and first ventured into candy coloured hair at 27.   She says she was surprisingly conservative as a teenager, and says she rebelled against her Mom, who owned a body piercing studio and hair salon by being aggressively square.  Rachel says that surprisingly, she has never experienced her hair or tattoos being the focus of negative attention in her job, but has got more flack on the streets than at work.  Her boss loves her hair and her CEO has asked for tattoo artist recommendations for his teenage son.  However she does find it intrusive and bothersome to explain the meaning of (or lack thereof) her tattoos repeatedly.  She also says:

As I’ve gotten older, not that 27 is particularly “older,” I’ve realized that the only way for me to maintain mental health is to stop compartmentalizing my personality between work and home. I am the same silly, opinionated, compassionate, and intelligent woman with my friends that I am with my colleagues. Not only do my colleagues deserve to interact with an actual person, instead of a robotic facade, I deserve to be free to be myself. Why spend all of that energy maintaining the illusion that I am a, you know, mild mannered person without opinions who isn’t covered in various swirls of (semi)permanent colors when I could be putting that energy into actually doing my job?

Kara (no photo supplied) from Vicious Sioux works in retail and is an activist who supports her family.  She has been colouring her hair since she was 16 and her first tattoo at 18.  She finds both her family and her workplace are ok with her hair and tattoos, though her conservative grandmother really objected to them, though she’s sure her current employers would not appreciate her returning her hair to hot pink, yet her colleagues and peers love it.

Amanda of FatWaitress.com (above) runs Love Your Body Detroit, a non-profit activism organisation that fights fat phobia and weight bias, and is a full time college student who works both on campus and as a nanny on weekends.  She got her first tattoo at 22, and started colouring her hair at 16, to have every colour under the sun, including her favourite, bright red with purple tips.  She has had to cover her tattoos when working in hospitality, but says people rarely react negatively to them.  She has only had one particularly bad response, in which she says “I was waiting on her a few years ago and she refused to look at me or even talk to me. Every time I would drop things off at the table she would stare at my tattoo.  She has found that her family is mostly ok with her tattoos, but some aunts have mentioned that they wish she would hide her forearm tattoo, which is a Gandhi quote.  Her father got his first tattoo at 65, just before she got her first.  She finds that most employers want her to cover her tattoos, but don’t mind her coloured hair, so long as it looks good.  At her current workplace her appearance is not an issue so long as she can perform her job, and says “At this point in my life if a place has an issue with what I look like, then they have an issue with me as a person. I’m more happy to not work there then have to hide my body.”

Lori St.Leone of The Story of Lori ran a successful piercing studio (and was a piercer herself for 16 years), is currently studying midwifery and has two children.  She started colouring her hair candy colours at 15 (she is now 36) and got her first tattoo just before her 18th birthday.  These days she dyes her naturally blonde hair more natural hues, at the moment it is coppery red.  Lori has had complete strangers comment on what a bad mother she must be for having tattoos, piercings and coloured hair.  She doesn’t feel that she should educate them or be polite to them, when they police her body and appearance.  She hasn’t had many problems at work but has used retainers for her piercings and covered her tattoos.  However she has faced some judgement at her oldest child’s pre-school, mostly from the staff!  Lori’s mom thinks her tattoos are beautiful and proudly shows off photographs of her and her family.  Lori’s partner did not have any body modifications when they first started dating (except for an earlobe piercing) and had not dated anyone with serious body modifications before.  Lori has not had much negative response in the workplace to her tattoos and piercings, but she is interested to see how future pregnant clients will react to a tattooed, pierced midwife.  However she says from her own experience, most women in labour don’t have time or attention to care what their midwife looks like, so long as that midwife is caring and supportive and doing their job well!

Alicia Maud, aka @rightingteacher is a high school English Teacher and co-director for Capital District Writing Project.  She is also a dancer and writer for a local magazine on health issues.  Alicia Maud has coloured her hair since the 7th grade, everything from Sun-In to reds, pinks and mahogany, and then on to candy apple red.  She was a junior in college when she got her first tattoo – she and her mom went together for her mom’s birthday!  She hasn’t had any negative reaction towards her tattoos and hair, but has received plenty of attention.  Her parents are big supporters and her mom sees hair as an opportunity for play and loves her tattoos.  Alicia Maud has also received positive attention in the workplace with regards to her hair and tattoos, but feels her supervisor is OK with Alicia Maud having candy hair and tattoos, but would never do it herself.  She hasn’t had any concerns brought to her by the parents of the kids she teaches either.

Abi of Adipose Rex is a stay at home mom of three boys and part time student, who has been experimenting with coloured highlights in her hair for years, but six months ago went the whole kit and caboodle and dyed her hair a candy colour all over.  While she moves in fairly conservative circles, she does get some sideways looks, but mostly people have treated her normally, much to her surprise.  Abi’s parents aren’t entirely thrilled about her hair colour, but she says that’s nothing new!  Her kids love it, and her husband, while he prefers her hair to be a bit less vivid, has the good sense to know that it is HER hair and is happy that she is happy with it.

Bek of Colourful Curves is a stay at home mum, a Christian and a single parent.  She has two boys, aged 4 and 6, cares for other children in her home and has a degree in Early Childhood teaching.  She started colouring her hair when she was 18 on her first trip away on her own.  Her parents weren’t keen on the idea of her dyeing her hair, but without them there, she dyed her hair dark red and has been colouring her hair ever since – she associates it with freedom, friendship and independence.  Bek says she hasn’t really had any negative attention from her hair, but working within the home gives her an advantage over those in other environments.  She finds her church circle are accepting of it as well.  Bek’s children love when “Mummy gets her hair painted” and want their own hair painted too.  Her mum has grown accepting of her hair colours.  Bek relates a story when a small girl of about 10 stopped her and said “I love your hair!  My aunty would love to dye her hair that colour, but she’s too scared to.”  Bek was very encouraging of the girl’s aunt’s wish!  She mentions that even her family GP has a purple streak in her hair (see, Barbie could have pink hair AND be a doctor!)

Ealasaid (no photo available) is a technical writer, bookbinder and movie reviewer who was first tattooed in January 2009, adding two more to the collection since then.  She has waist length hair and doesn’t feel confident in colouring it, so leaves it natural.  Ealasaid’s parents don’t comment on her tattoos, but she knows her mom doesn’t approve, but hasn’t given her too much of a hard time about it.  She covers her tattoos for work, but her colleagues that have seen them have had positive reactions – but she thinks it might help that she works in the San Francisco Bay area!

Kate aka Craftastrophies is an editor and project manager – she describes it as “a regular office job”.  She has been colouring her hair bright red for about 5 years, after a run-in with an inattentive hairdresser and some bleach.  She went bright reddish purple that time, but it wasn’t until Easter 2010 that she went for the blue.  Kate says she has only ever had positive feedback about her hair, or people simply ignore it.  She says “I have gotten a few glares on the street, but mostly people have better things to think about.”  She says that her hair is a big hit with kids too.  She says “About three months ago we were at a family dinner and an uncle, who has seen me at least six times since I dyed it, stared for a few minutes and then said ‘your… hair is… green!’ He was swiftly corrected by my grandmother. ‘It’s BLUE.’ Obviously.”  Kate finds that most people she works with seem to think it’s none of their business, and has only had one positive comment on it.  She dyed it blue between leaving one job and taking another, and asked at the interview if they minded, which they did not.

So as you can see by these amazing women above, women with candy coloured hair and tattoos are diverse,  professional, caring, intelligent, witty, giving and overall awesome.  How is this not something for girls and young women to aspire to?  What I see above are 10 inspirational women who rock their body art in their rich, full lives.

Why shouldn’t candy haired, tattooed women be honoured in doll form?  It’s an honour for me to share them with you here.

Defining My Identity

I’m a little high on adrenaline tonight.  I’ve had some more work done on my left half sleeve tattoo today, which always gives me an adrenaline rush afterwards, but it was just an intense day all up.  I have mentioned before that I am working on a project with Dr Lauren Gurrieri of Griffith University, which I cannot share much about yet (I promise I will as soon as I can) other than it involves my being photographed around the subject of my identity.  Of course, a major part of my identity is my tattooed body, so it was obvious that was one of the events we needed to document.  I’m really pleased and honoured that my fabulous tattoo artist, Victoria R Lundberg of Wild at Heart Tattoo was willing to be photographed (and filmed) during my appointment.  She’s a good sport and a talented artist, is Victoria.

Anyway, my eventful day really started when I was sitting waiting for the bus to head into town to meet Lauren and documentary photographer Isaac Brown and head to my tattoo appointment.  I was sitting at the bus stop in the shade, minding my own business, reading twitter on my phone when a white tradie van pulled up on the opposite side of the street, and the guy driving lifted his iPhone, took a photo of me and then drove off.  I know, I know, I should have said something or flipped him the bird, or took his photo… but when shit like that happens you’re just so stunned that you can do more than give them an indignant look.

It just goes to demonstrate just how much surveillance we fat women (and it is a mixture of fatness and womanhood that draws the surveillance) are subjected to in our culture.  It is both surveillance and the policing of our bodies.  If a fat woman is too visible, doesn’t hide herself away in shame, dress in black and minimise herself, she is scrutinised, photographed, judged and harassed for it.  But fuck hiding away.  Fuck letting other people police what I wear, how I do my hair, what I look like in public.  I think I look pretty fucking awesome:

Anyway, it got better when I was in town, I was walking through the Myer Centre when a young woman reached out and touched my elbow and exclaimed “Cool hair!”  I find that people who are complimenting me or being cool are happy to do so to my face, not by sneaking photos or whispering about me.

So it was particularly apt that today was the day I was a) adding to my half sleeve tattoo, which is a celebration of my identity and b) being photographed for Lauren’s project.

I have to say, it was pretty daunting.  I’m not used to just relaxing and letting someone photograph me as I go about my business.  I’m so used to having my appearance judged, and of that old mode of scrutinising every photograph of myself because of self consciousness.  I only saw two of the hundreds of photographs taken today, one each from Lauren and Isaac, so I have no idea how any of them look.  To be honest, that does make me feel nervous.  It’s all a learning and growing process – after all, it wasn’t that many years ago that I never let anyone photograph me EVER.  That vulnerability is very hard to let go of.  But I’m determined to let go of those old feelings of self consciousness because I want there to be a photographic record of my life.  I regret those years I didn’t allow people to photograph me.

As well as feeling vulnerable, it was an incredibly empowering experience for me.  I trust Lauren and Isaac to give me the space I need to feel comfortable with the process, and enough say in the process that if I’m not feeling comfortable or happy, I can say so and they will respect that.  Besides, from what I’ve seen of Isaac’s work, he’s a talented photographer and who wouldn’t love to work with someone with that much talent?

This whole process has been quite cathartic to me, it’s had me thinking about how I identify myself, and how through things like my bright clothing, bold hair and tattoos, I reclaim my right to determine my own identity.  Because that’s the thing about identity, it’s our own to determine.  I read this wonderful quote from Chris Graham in relation to right wing… media personality (I cannot call him a journalist) Andrew Bolt’s policing of Aboriginal identity, that I think is an excellent universal statement about identity:

No-one, no matter how hard they might stamp their feet, gets to tell you how you should identify.

Just to give you a teaser, here are a few photos that Lauren took on my little compact camera.

Victoria getting into the detail.

It doesn’t hurt that bad, really! (Lauren has a photo of me wincing in pain, so that’s not entirely true!)

Here you go.  The work after today’s session.

Victoria made the outlines bolder, touched up some of the colour in spots that were patchy, coloured the moon and the owl’s belly/eyes and added the words on the spines of the books.  All in all I’m very pleased with the progress.

Everything about today was about identity for me.  From choosing what to wear (which today, was 100% for myself, unlike on days I work or go to events for other people), being photographed without my consent, having a stranger compliment my hair, being tattooed, and indeed the subjects of my tattoos, and being photographed in the process.

I wish for all of you to be given the space and the opportunity to be able to define and own your identity.  It feels powerful and cleansing, particularly after having it denied of me for most of my life.

Oh Let’s Just Have a Chat

Today is a public holiday in Brisbane (Royal Exhibition, or Ekka holiday).  I had all these grand plans to write all day, but it’s kind of overcast and cool, and I just don’t feel like it.

Besides, sometimes we all just get a bit fatigued with talking about the tough stuff.

So instead I’ll share some photos with you.

Take a look at what I’ve made in my Thermomix lately:

Mushroom Risotto

Cheesy Buckwheat Bread

Pineapple Sorbet

These are just a few of the delicious things I’ve whipped up in it.  I’m having a great time experimenting and re-discovering flavours and textures that I had long forgotten.

My friend Kylie (aka Toots) found me these AWESOME leopard print Chucks in the UK.  I love them to bits, but they don’t quite make up for how much I am missing Toots while she is off travelling.

Look at the little MiniMe shoe!

I tried to dye my hair pillar box red last weekend.  I’m not having much success with Manic Panic dyes, even though I buy the amplified range that are supposed to be bolder colours and longer lasting.  I bleached out what was there (a kind of grey-purple) and discovered this rather awesome minty colour under the bleach:

Minty Mop

Sadly it didn’t last, and went to a weird kind of muddy colour overnight.  So I used Manic Panic Amplified in Pillar Box Red, and got this:

Not really "pillar box" red is it?

It faded REALLY quickly.  By yesterday (Tuesday) it was bright orange.  Three days.

My friend Nadia and I and another friend of hers went and saw Dylan Moran live and had dinner at the Bamboo Basket at South Bank (their soup dumplings are so delicious I could cry!)

Soup Dumplings and Cleavage

 

Oh, and Nadia took an OOTD picture for me.

Dress and white denim jacket – Autograph Fashion
Tights – We Love Colors
Shoes – Big W
Earrings – Diva
Swallow Brooch – Thousand Island Dressing

Oh and of course, the big news for me lately is that I have had more work done on my left upper-arm tattoo!  We’ve added some more Rubens Cantuni pieces to my fat lady tattoo.  Look:

A little smudgy, a little bloody, a little swollen... but on it's way!

I’ve still got at least two more sessions on this one, and then we start on the one on the inside of the arm.  My artist is the incredible Victoria R. Lundberg at Wild at Heart Tattoo.

So, what’s news with all of you lately?  Done any yummy cooking?  Scored any bargains?  Been to any live gigs?  Any new ink?  What’s happening in your lives?

Silk or Leather, Or a Feather

I just found myself having a little surprise cry.

Every night I scroll through Tumblr and have a look at all the bits and bobs people post.  I love Tumblr*, it’s full of inspiration, cuteness, discussion, news, cupcakes, fat positive photographs, laughs and food for thought.  So tonight I was scrolling through and came across this post from Marianne Kirby**, where she explains what she would like to have as her next tattoo.

I read the sentence that she has chosen to be part of her next tattoo, and my world stopped still just for a moment:

 

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

 

For those of you who don’t recognise it, it is a lyric from an Adam and the Ants song, Prince Charming.

As I read that sentence, something in me just clicked.  My 13 year old heart started beating so hard in my 38 year old chest.  A flood of memories came back to me, and I was almost instantly transported back to the early 80’s and my pre-teen/early teens.

And I cried.  I’m still crying on and off as I write this post.

I am not sure how I came to forget that sentence, that lyric.  It meant so much to me once.  I clung to it so hard, I repeated it over and over and over in my head.  It’s no secret that I was a bullied kid, nor is it a secret that I came from a background of domestic violence.  And I remember.  Oh how I remember, the feeling that nobody in the world cared about me, that everyone was cruel and hateful and that I was worthless.  But I also remember the lifeline that song threw me with that one lyric.

 

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

 

When I was feeling at my very lowest.  When I was being beaten, bullied, humiliated, shamed… that lyric would pop into my head, and I would hear that song in my mind, and I would just escape.  Escape into a world of dandy men and powdered and pouffed women, with their faces painted in bright colours, a world of silk or leather, or a feather.  A world that was bright and beautiful, a world where ridicule was nothing to be scared of.

I think that part of me shut that memory out.  It hurts so much to remember that time.  Because the PTSD is always close to the surface and sometimes it’s easier to forget than acknowledge things and let the emotions come back.  Thing is, something as simple as a lyric, or an image, or a piece of music, or a scent, brings it all flooding back.

But the thing is, that lyric STILL means a lot to me, just for different reasons.  Because after a lifetime of using the lyric to escape, I realise now that it’s reality, not escape.  Ridicule IS nothing to be scared of.  I used to be terrified of people making fun of who I was, so I hid in a persona that was not me.  I dressed how I thought others wanted me to dress.  I behaved how I thought others wanted me to behave.  Only to be absolutely miserable, and people ridiculed me anyway.  So I came to a point (with thanks to therapy and the Fatosphere) where I figured if I was going to be ridiculed, then I may as well be ridiculed for being, wearing and doing the things I love. The surprising thing was that being ridiculed ceased to be painful.  It became a reminder that I was doing something that was important to me.  Even if I had forgotten the source of that belief, the lyric that taught me that no matter how much fun people made of me, if I’m doing something that makes me happy, there is no reason to be afraid of that ridicule, to be shamed by other people’s narrow-mindedness.

And that’s what makes me able to get tattoos of fat ladies, shave my head for charity and wear bright colours and kitschy accessories.  I’m confident enough to wear silk or leather, or a feather.  Thanks to the knowledge that ridicule really is nothing to be scared of.

So thank you Marianne, for sharing your next tattoo idea.  I have to apologise though, because at some point in the future, we’re going to have the same sentence tattooed on us.  I feel like I can’t not get it permanently marked on me now.  But I promise that it will look nothing like yours and I’ll tell the story of how an old memory was brought back to me and reminded me of my strength.

Oh look, have the song while we’re at it.  It’s so camp and theatrical, I still love it:

*This is my Tumblr blog if you want a look.
**Marianne’s main blog The Rotund can be found here.  It’s one of the best blogs you will read.

You Can’t Touch This

I was just reading this post over on This Ain’t Livin’ about the way people tend to respond to tattoos on others.  As most of you know, I had my sixth tattoo done last Friday, and it’s now my biggest and probably my most visible.  But I have noticed ever since I got the ones done on my feet and inside my lower forearms, which I rarely make any effort to cover up, that I get really mixed reactions from people.

My tattoos are pretty femme and inoffensive – I have flowers on the tops of my feet and the two inside my forearms are a bluebird and a heart balloon.  My new one (a fabulous naked fat lady) is probably the most “controversial” per se, what with her being both fat and naked.  I also have a very old tattoo of a cow on my back, but it is small and almost always covered by my clothes.

However, I’ve seen people’s attitudes and demeanor completely change the minute they see my tattoos.  Even while I had hot pink hair, it was the tattoos that changed the way people respond to me.  From women who clutch their handbags or children a little closer, to men who seem to feel the need to draw themselves up bigger next to me, to people in general who go from a neutral expression to negative one just on seeing my tattoos.  And as s.e. smith says on This Ain’t Livin’, they seem to make people GRABBY.

I have had people grab me by the wrist and turn my arms over so they can see my tattoos.  I’ve had people hoick my bra strap/top out of the way so they can see the one on my back.  I’ve had people reach down and stroke the flowers on the tops of my feet.  And these have been both strangers and people I know.

Actually people have been grabby with my hair since I took it out of the “natural” look, ie hot pink and now bald.  One woman gave my hair a good yank and said “Oh it’s real!”  Another grabbed it as I walked past, almost causing me to fall with the force that it stopped me with.  Twice since I shaved my head a week ago, someone has rubbed my head without asking, one a stranger, another someone I know.

I have no idea why people feel it’s ok to get grabby with folks who have tattoos or some hair styles.  Or at least women.  As s.e. smith writes in her post, her male friend doesn’t seem to get the grabby thing.  Maybe it’s because the female body is objectified so much, that it is perceived as public property.  I know pregnant women suffer the grabbies too, and I can’t imagine how infuriating that is.

I’m also not sure how to respond to unwelcome grabbiness.  I have been known to bellow “DON’T TOUCH ME!!” when it gets all too much for me.  I don’t really want to bellow at people, but I do want to let them know in no uncertain terms that touching someone uninvited is not appropriate.  I have also had people get offended when I’ve asked them not to touch me uninvited, as though I’m denying them some kind of right.

So, have you suffered people touching or grabbing you inappropriately?  How have you responded?  Did you ever ask why someone has done it?

Hit me up in the comments lovelies, let’s work out how to deal with Grabby McGrabbersons!

 

A Bad Day Get’s Better

I woke up feeling pretty good.  I had my outfit picked out (something I could never wear to work – denim skirt, leggings and a leopard print camisole), and was excited to be going off to get my next tattoo today.  I showered and dressed, and realised I had a little bit of time up my sleeve, so I jumped online and went to my Facebook page.  Unfortunately, the first thing I saw was a post that was intended innocently by the friend who posted it, but was actually a big ole pile of fat hatred.  Even though it was posted in good spirit, it was painfully clear that the person who made the meme (one of those Demotivational posters) was being hateful and pushing more fat stereotypes (the junk food loving gluttonous fatty) and some of the comments were of very bad taste.

I was so hurt.  I plummeted into a spiral of self loathing and shame.  It took every ounce of my intestinal fortitude not to cancel my tattoo appointment and go back to bed.  Then it took every ounce of my willpower to not change my outfit and cover my body, to stay in the outfit that bares my fat arms and shoulders, that is visible.

But I did the old “fake it until you make it” and set out for the day.  I’m so glad I did.  Wanna see my outfit? (Click here for outfit details)  Here you go:

I’m fresh out of the tattooist chair, their apprentice took the photo for me.  There’s nothing like the adrenaline high after a tattoo to lift your mood.  I went from hating myself to feeling amazing in the time it took my tattoo artist, Victoria (from Wild at Heart Tattoo in Charlotte Street) to do the piece.

The piece is very significant too.  I know you want to see it.  But I’m going to tell you about it first, before I unleash it.  It’s a piece that Victoria and I designed, inspired by the art of Rubens Cantuni, a fabulous artist from Genova in Italy.  He does these pieces called Tokyo Candies that I fell deeply in love with a little while ago, after seeing some of his sexy fat lady artworks pop up on Tumblr.  (Rubens is on Twitter and Facebook if you’d like to follow him too.)  I saw this picture over a year ago and absolutely loved it, but it was seeing this one on Tumblr about a month ago that made me decide I absolutely HAD to have a tattoo piece inspired by his work.

I took a bunch of his work to Victoria and between us we came up with a design that was just perfect.  Not only is she beautifully fat positive, but it’s a celebration of the things I love about myself too.  I only have to look at her to be reminded of the things that I feel good about myself.

Yeah yeah, I know, you just want to see the damn tattoo.  Well here she is…

See, I told you she was beautiful.

An Un-Post

I have little to no blogging inspiration at the moment.  I’m tired, the whole flood thing across my whole country now, but very much here at home in my very back yard is weighing heavy on my mind, and I am so, so behind in reading Fatosphere blogs that I feel really cut off from everything that is going on out there.

But I want to give you all an update on Operation Baldy.  In the few days since I posted the last update, about $300 has come in for the Flood Relief fund, with pledges for about $200 more and another $50 for the Cancer Council of Australia.  Bringing the total raised so far at about the $2000 mark (give or take for the exchange rates).  I am absolutely gobsmacked at the generosity of people, both near and far.  You are all amazing people, every one of you that has donated.  Whether it’s $5 or $500, every dollar makes a difference, and every one of you are generous, kind hearted souls.

Just a quick aside, if you’re in Brisbane, there is a canned food drive starting tomorrow in the Brisbane City Council libraries (running for a month).  This food all goes to Foodbank, and all canned food is accepted, even canned pet food.  If you’re near a library, how about popping in with a can or two.  And tell them Kath said hello and that they’re doing an amazing job despite all the fallout from the floods.

So I’m less than a week away from The Big Shave.  I oscillate between wanting to just get rid of my hair now, and seeing my pink locks and thinking “NOOOOOOOOOO!!”  Of course Murphy’s Law states that the week before I shave my head completely bald, my hair is looking the cutest it has in ages.  Ugh!  I’m getting nervous that I’ll look really, really stupid with a bald head.  But I’m trying to compensate by thinking of all the enormous earrings I will be able to show off.

Of course I’m still taking donations, and will be for some time yet.  If you can help, click here for the details on how to donate.

In other news, I have booked in for another tattoo on the Friday after The Big Shave.  I had some inspiration (and some holiday leave loading!) and found something so awesome to get tattooed on me, that I couldn’t wait another second.  I showed my tattoo artist, Victoria from Wild at Heart the reference material and by her reaction I knew she was the one to do it.  The piece is a sekrit (but for a few trusted people) but let’s just say it’s a beautiful fat positive piece that represents my learning to love my body and accept myself as I am.  I can’t wait to share it all with you when it’s done.

While I’ve got you, it’s a new year, so may I ask you what kinds of topics you’d like to hear about on Fat Acceptance blogs?  What things are first and foremost in your mind at the moment when it comes to Fat Acceptance?  What gaps do you think we have when it comes to topics and discussions?  Perhaps I’ll glean some inspiration and get back into the swing of things if we start a conversation here.

Fresh Ink

Phew!  What a week!  With all the hullabaloo on the Kevin Smith being kicked off a flight for being too fat debacle, plus my own little adventure in vastly increased internet attention thanks to my discussion with John Birmingham, it’s been pretty intense.

So when Ivan of  Fat in NYC gave me a nudge over not blogging my latest tattoo, I thought I had better do something about it.

Yes, I got tattoo number 5 a week ago.  Check it out:

I know, it’s not the greatest photograph.  But have YOU ever tried to take a photograph of your own left arm with a proper sized digital camera in bad light?

But you get the idea.  Isn’t my wee birdy beautiful?  The incredibly talented Victoria from Wild at Heart Tattoo here in Brisbane created him for me.  I didn’t have any real reference material other than a couple of photos of birds I got from a Google image search.  One had some markings in his feathers, the other was the intense shade of blue.  So I described to Victoria in an email what I wanted, and she came up with this guy for me.  The only thing I tweaked was the shape of the ribbon, just to tie it in to my other arm tattoo a wee bit.  I loved  her first draft artwork on sight.

However, it pales in comparison to the final piece.  I’m absolutely gobsmacked at what a gorgeous piece she has done.  And it’s on my arm for the rest of my life.  Weeeeeeee!

Why I Love Tattoos

For any of you who know me in real life, and/or have me on Facebook and Twitter, you will already know that I am very excited about getting two more tattoos in the very near future.  I am booked in on Monday to get the first of these two, on the top of my right foot, and will book the second one while I am there, which is for the inside of my left forearm.

I already have three tattoos; a pink balloon heart on the inside of my right forearm, a pink lotus flower on the top of my left foot, and a Far Side cartoon cow on my back above my left shoulder blade.  I also have the intention of getting a lot more than just the two I have planned now.  The only thing that prevents me from going all out and getting full sleeves and work on my legs and torso is that quality tattoos are an investment, so I have to pace my spending.

Check ’em out…

I don’t have a photo of my cow, it’s hard to photograph my own back, and she’s very faded and bluey-green now, so it’s not so nice to photograph.

There is a reason I love tattoos other than it annoys my mother that I have them.  I love them because they make me feel beautiful about my body.  As someone who has suffered body image and self esteem issues my whole life, been fat since I was 11 and who has drifted in and out of eating disorders since I was in my early teens (these days I thankfully seem to be out of them, I would like that to be permanent), I have always struggled with finding my body beautiful.  The first time I ever did have something I totally loved about my body was when I got my first tattoo, the cow on my back.

I felt that at last, here was a part of my body that I had some control over.  Here was something I was doing to MY body for ME, and not for anyone else.  Not to make me more acceptable to society, not to impress a guy, not to fit some kind of norm for others.  It was another 15 years before I was tattooed again, the next two were done on the same day 18 months ago, and again that feeling was there.  Now every time I look at the parts of my body that have tattoos, they look and feel beautiful to me.

Another thing is that when I get ink, I always choose a design that means something to me ABOUT me.  I’ve not got tattoos to honour anyone else, or to commemorate events.  Each of my tattoos has a meaning around my self esteem or messages to myself.  Whether it be reminders about what is important in life, or something that expresses things I like about myself.

Being tattooed makes me feel just that bit more confident about my body.  I’m even booking in to have a manicure and pedicure on Monday before I go to the tattooist, just so that my feet are all pretty ready to be photographed when I have my fresh ink.  Something I would have never done years ago, which probably seems silly to a lot of people, but I didn’t even have the self confidence to allow my hands and feet to be touched by anyone I didn’t know closely.

So, do any of you have ink?  If so, what have you got and why did you get it?  Do you think it changes your self esteem/self image at all?