Reality Television – Modern Day Freak Shows

Published March 15, 2015 by sleepydumpling

After 6 years of being a fat activist, there isn’t much that makes my jaw drop in astonishment any more.  I’ve seen every pathetic excuse for fat hate that is out there, trolls stopped being original about 5 and a half years ago, and you name the creepy, cheesy, fatphobic trope in media, I’ve seen it.

But this week, I got a request that absolutely astonished me.  Take a look at this:

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 7.18.02 pmMy first reaction was to just blink in astonishment.

My second reaction was to see red and for steam come out of my ears.

I think reality tv is crap to begin with.  It’s unimaginative, cut rate content that only exists because the industry is too cheap to pay for good content.  But this really takes the cake.

I am utterly astonished that in the year 2015 anyone would consider a fat person in a relationship as “unique”.  Do they honestly think that approaching a known fat activist looking for “couples that are either in extraordinary situations or in uncommon relationships” is an acceptable thing to do?  Do they honestly believe that a fat person in a relationship is somehow an “extraordinary situation” or an “uncommon relationship”?  If they do, that speaks volumes about their attitude to fat people.

We are not freaks.  We are not a fetish.  We’re not even “uncommon” – we make up 60% of the population.  Being treated like fat people in relationships as being something unique or extraordinary is really dehumanising.  The suggestion is that nobody “normal” could really love a fat person.  Only “unique” and “extraordinary” and “uncommon” people love fat people.  Which is a coded way to suggest weirdos and freaks.

Fat people live the same lives as everyone else.  We have careers, we have relationships, we have families, we pay taxes, we are educated… we have lives.  There is nothing “unique” about it.  The only thing different is the way people treat us because of our bodies.  As if we are not human beings.

A Little More Housekeeping

Published February 28, 2015 by sleepydumpling

Morning all!  I’m a little thrilled to say that another of my posts, The Educated Eater, is due to go up on WordPress’ Freshly Pressed page this week some time.  I am so chuffed that the Freshly Pressed team look outside the box for posts to share in that feature, I get so much good reading from it and I can highly recommend their Twitter account if you’re looking to find new and interesting blogs to read.

Of course, with any new promotion of this blog, it brings out the jerks as well as the lovely new people.  Already I’m getting a smattering of people DEMANDING to know why they can’t comment on my posts, as if I’m their fucking public property.  Wrong!  For those of you who are genuinely curious, I wrote about it here.

Unfortunately, I’m not able to close every loop on this blog, and there’s always someone commenting on those places.  Sometimes it’s nice people.  Most of the time it’s douchebags.  Quite often very transparent douchebags pretending to be feminists or something else they’re not, as if I’m so stupid that I would fall for their fake outs.  It takes me 5 minutes to track these people back to other posts where I can see exactly who they are.

I am no longer letting ANY comments through anywhere on this blog, unless I open up a specific post for sharing of resources etc.  Any comments left anywhere else will be deleted.  For those of you leaving nice comments, please understand it’s nothing personal, I just don’t have the spoons to let people through into my little corner of the internet.

Links for the rules and about me are at the top of the page.

 

Not Like Other Girls?

Published February 17, 2015 by sleepydumpling
Comic strip by Kate Beaton aka @Beatonna

Comic strip by Kate Beaton aka @Beatonna

Once upon a time, I was the young woman in this cartoon.  I was the one that professed to be “not like other girls”.  I told anyone who would listen that I preferred men as friends, that I found “other chicks” shallow and boring.  My guy friends always told me I was “Cool, not like other chicks.”  They said they could hang around me because I didn’t “cause drama” like other women, and that I didn’t take things “so seriously”.

That was partly because I’d been taught that fat women weren’t the same as “normal” women.  I believed that I wasn’t included in womanhood, so I figured the best bet was to just join the boys and to turn my nose up at “other chicks”.

Another part was self preservation.  As long as the guys liked me, they weren’t calling me a “crazy bitch”, or making fun of me, or treating me like a piece of meat.  It was easier to fit in with the guys, than to risk their wrath.

The rest was internalised misogyny.  All my life I’ve been told women were lesser beings than men, they weren’t as important or worthy.  I was taught that women were overly emotional, too sensitive, irrational, shallow, uninteresting… the list goes on.  So I internalised that and spent my time trying to be not like what I had been taught “other girls” were.  I didn’t want to be seen as any of those things, so I went along with the guys attitudes and spent my time trying to prove I wasn’t like that.

But then something happened.  I disagreed with one of those guys who told me I was “cool, not like other chicks”.  He said something hurtful and I told him it was hurtful, and asked him not to do it again.  And boy, he and the other guys didn’t like that.  Suddenly, I was “just like all those other crazy bitches”.  I needed to “calm down” and “stop making drama”.  He told me “Everything is about you, making you happy, isn’t it?”  Thing is, he wasn’t the only one.  Every guy who has ever called me “not like those other chicks” has eventually turned on me when I stood up for myself, or did something they didn’t like.  They didn’t just tell me they disagreed with me because of X, instead they implied I was over-sensitive, or irrational, or selfish, or “crazy” (which is ableist as fuck as well as gaslighting).

All those male friends started turning on me.  I was getting “too opinionated”.  One by one, the minute I disagreed with them on anything, or asked them not to do something that hurt or upset me, they’d decide I was just like other girls, and it was too much effort to have around.  Even those I had devoted YEARS to making happy, got pissed the minute I expected to be treated with respect, or asked not to do something that upset me or someone around me.  As much as you think you’re playing it safe by being the “cool chick” around guys, they will turn on you the minute you do anything they don’t like.

At the same time this was happening, my self esteem was growing.  I started to feel like a worthy human being, who had the right to be treated with respect, and who had needs and wants too.  My confidence grew too.  Instead of being quiet and “not making a fuss” when I believed something, I spoke up.  Instead of backing down at the first sign of resistance, when I believed that something was unfair, or that I deserved better, I stuck to my guns.

As my self esteem and confidence grew, I noticed more and more that guys didn’t like me as much as they used to.  I started to question why that was, and I found feminism.  I started to understand misogyny and how deeply entrenched it is in our culture.  I learnt how many women, as a self preservation method in a misognynist culture, decided to join ‘em because they can’t beat ‘em.  That they took those messages that said women were lesser and internalised them, and regurgitated them as “I’m not like that.”

As a result of my growing self esteem and bourgeoning feminism, I realised something incredible… women are awesome!  Women are smart, funny, thoughtful, kind, and strong.  Women are great to be around.  Particularly feminist women, who tend not to talk down to other women, and instead support and build women up.  We listen to each other.  We don’t dismiss each other’s feelings as being irrational or silly.  We don’t let our egos get in the way of admitting we made a mistake, or that we don’t know something.  We share.

Consequently, I now find myself with the most amazing women friends.  Friends who treat me as their equal.  Women who are unbelievably strong and who stand up in the face of a whole lot of bullshit from a society that sees us as lesser beings.  Women who value each other.  Who support each other while supporting themselves in a lot of ways.  I can’t tell you how awesome the women in my life are these days.

I know it feels easier to play along with the guys.  To dismiss your feelings as unimportant in the scheme of things, so long as the guys think you’re cool.  It’s easy to convince yourself that other women’s feelings are irrational, overly-emotional and silly, and that you’re not like them.  I know it’s easy to not make waves, not cause a fuss, don’t “get emotional”.  It’s easier to suppress your feelings, to push things down and swallow your words and your emotions than “upset the boys”.  You want to see someone “get emotional”?  Say “No” to a man.  They go from zero to “You fucking bitch.” in seconds.

If a man can’t handle you at what he perceives is your worst, then he doesn’t deserve you at your best.

Let me assure you, articulating your feelings, and expecting to be treated with respect is not causing drama or making a fuss.  You have a right to be heard, to express your needs as a human, and to expect the same respect you put out in the world returned to you.  Being hurt by someone in your life not speaking up for you, or by expecting you to not speak up for yourself is completely valid.  It is not “over sensitive”.  You do not have to tolerate cowardly men who would rather be liked by acquaintances than stand up for the women in their lives.  You do not have to tolerate cowardly men who see their own comfort levels as more important than your wellbeing.  You do not have to tolerate cowardly men who stand over you and bellow their opinions, while they think a woman’s convictions are “selfish”.  You do not have to tolerate cowardly men who act like owning up to a mistake is a fate worse than death.  You don’t have to put up with these things to prove you are “not like those other chicks”.

I am proud to be a strong, independent woman who stands by her convictions and takes responsibility for her words and actions.  A lot of people like to call women like us “bitches”.  Well, I’ll leave the response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler:

bgsd
I am so thankful for the strong, outspoken women in my life.  To every one of you, be you near or far, close friends or fellow feminists, you make me a better person.  I’m proud to be “one of those chicks”.

The Educated Eater

Published January 23, 2015 by sleepydumpling

Recently I was part of a conversation on Facebook about the concept of fat tax/junk food tax/whatever you want to call it.  The current food being demonised is sugar, and this particular conversation was about a proposed sugar tax in New Zealand, but I’m pretty sure that wherever you are has had something similar in the not too distant past.

A lot of the conversation centred on how taxing any particular food is over-intervention by the government, however it ended up in the territory of possible ways to get people to eat “healthier”.  As always, there’s a faint air of moralisation around even the most well meaning conversation about improving people’s general eating habits – the old binaries of fresh/processed, healthy/unhealthy, junk-fast/”real” are ever present, as though food is somehow either all good or all bad, which no food ever is.  Foods have varying levels of usefulness/nutrition/substance to every person.  Not to mention that food has absolutely no moral value at all.  It is not good or bad, it is just food.

Repeatedly the suggestion was that we need to “educate” people about food, where it comes from and what it’s value is.  The implication was that it was poor people in particular that need this education.

I believe that people already understand food.  Let me give you an example.

As I walk to catch the train each morning to go to work, I pass a Dominos pizza franchise.  The other day I noticed a poster in their window for a meat-lover pizza. The calorie count was in a font twice the size of the price of the actual pizza. A third of the page was taken up with the calorie count.  It is deemed more important to tell people how many calories are in a pizza than the price of that pizza.  Who actually thinks that anyone who is likely to buy a meat-lover pizza is either ignorant or cares about the calorie count?  Either you’re buying it because it’s dirt cheap and will fill the bellies of your hungry family, or you just want a greasy pizza and don’t give a flying fuck about how many calories are in it. You could put the calories in big scary jaggedy font with flames coming out of it saying that you’ll go to hell for eating it, and people would still buy it, because they want it, or because they have no other option that suits their needs.

I really do have a problem with the whole “We need to educate people about food” thing. Particularly when it’s aimed at poor people, who are statistically the biggest consumers of fast/processed food.  This is because fast/processed food is CHEAP.   The attitude that poor people need to be educated about food reeks of classism and almost always comes from those with the privilege of being able to afford tertiary education.

Honestly, poor people know about food and it’s value, better than any affluent person ever will. As someone who has lived through extreme poverty, I can tell you, you know EVERY single iota about the thing you’re spending the tiny bit of money you have on. You spend your whole life bargaining against yourself for how to get the most filling, calorie loaded food that will last the longest for the least amount of money possible. Poor people aren’t ignorant, they’re poor. They’re not choosing fast food because they don’t know any better, they’re choosing it because it’s cheap, easy, filling and available.

Then there is the belief that fat people are ignorant about food, that we don’t know which foods are “good” for us and which are “bad” (again, using scare quotes because food has no moral value – it is neither good nor bad).  I am a very fat woman.  I can tell you the approximate calorie count of pretty much any food out there.  I can also tell you how many Weight Watchers points it is, whether or not it is allowed on the Atkins diet, what carbs are in it, how many grams of fat, and in most cases, what it’s key ingredients are.  I have been forcefully “educated” about food since I was about 5 years old,  and I am now 42.  I have spent decades calculating every little fact about food because I have spent decades dieting and with fucked up disordered eating habits.   I bet I am not in the minority of fat people who have been forcefully “educated” about food their whole lives too.

Fat people are the least ignorant people about the nutritional information of food.

Poor people are the least ignorant people about the nutritional information about food. 

Both groups of people (and often they intersect), have HAD to know this information out of necessity.

Want to help people eat more nutritious, fresh food? Make it cheap. Pay people a living wage.  Make sure that they learn the skills needed to procure and prepare fresh foods, right from school level.  Ensure that they have the time that it takes to actually procure and prepare fresh food.  If you’ve worked a 16 hour day just to cover your rent and bills, you don’t have time to shop for prepare vegetables. You have kids you have hardly seen, who are hungry, and very little money to feed them, you need something quick, hot and filling available now.

Think poor people need to be aware of the conditions of production? HELL NO, they ARE the conditions of production. They’re the ones working split shifts in factories prepping frozen meals. They’re the ones working in fast food restaurants for minimum wage.  They’re the ones working shitty jobs at weird hours to pay the bills.  They’re the ones labouring on farms for less and less pay as the supermarkets cut back the price of produce on them. THEY KNOW.

Want to help change the way food is consumed? Legislate so that food processing companies have to pay a fair rate for produce. Legislate so that supermarkets have to pay a fair rate for produce. Legislate so that food producers have to pay their workers a fair living wage and employ them in reasonable conditions so that they can go home and shop and cook for their families.

The whole fresh/healthy food movement is rampant with patronising attitudes towards people who are the most aware of the problems with fast food, but with the least means to do anything to rectify it.

The Realities of Fat Activism

Published January 11, 2015 by sleepydumpling

It’s time I spoke up about a little something that’s going on in the fatosphere at the moment.  I don’t have a very big platform in the scheme of things, I do have a loyal group that stick around and are very supportive, and I’m forever thankful and honoured by that.  But I don’t have access to being published on mainstream websites, nor do I have friends who are high profile people in activism circles.  I have worked very hard for over 5 years to get the little bit of following and media notice I have had, and I’m thankful that there are people who appreciate my work and signal boost it on a regular basis.

But I am SO done with people who write on mainstream websites (where one article gets more shares than I get hits on a post) whinging that they don’t have representation, and then holding up MY tiny patch of the internet as an example of how fat/size acceptance is “doin’ it wrong”. (No, I am not linking to it, most of you will know the piece I’m referring to.)

Firstly, I have said for years now that I do not identify as part of fat acceptance, size acceptance or body positive movements.  I am a proud fat activist who believes in fighting for the human rights of fat people to live their lives in dignity and respect, without discrimination or vilification.  I believe in the liberation of fat people from a society that has treated us as second class citizens for almost a century now.  I do not believe “acceptance” is enough.  Body positivity has long excluded very fat bodies like mine.  Nobody has the right to hold me up as an example of either fat/size acceptance or body positivity as I reject both of those movements myself.

Secondly, I have no place speaking for anyone but myself.  If you want representation, do not look to me to speak for you.  I can only speak for my experience – that of a very fat (I personally prefer the term “deathfat”) woman with chronic illness.  I am a survivor of domestic abuse and sexual assault.  I have lived through poverty.  These are the things I am qualified to speak on.  I can, and will not presume to speak for anyone other than myself, however, if other people identify with my experiences, I appreciate the connection with them.

Unfortunately, I get a lot of people criticising me (more often than not they’re just trolling) for not writing about how fat hate affects men, or disabled people, or women of colour, or LGBT* folk.  I am not qualified to speak on these perspectives as I do not belong to them myself.  It is not appropriate for me to write about other people’s experiences.

I am not running a media website.  I am not editing any collections or aggregating other people’s posts.  This blog is me.  JUST me.  I stopped allowing guest posts years ago, and I write about my experiences.

If you want to be represented in fat spaces, you need to speak up for yourself.  But you also need to be aware that visibility in the fatosphere is not something that is either automatic, or without serious issues.  I blogged here for two years before I started to get any audience outside of a small group of friends.  In that two years, I spent the equivalent time and effort of a full time job in research, outreach, discussion with other activists and self-promotion on growing my blog, my visibility and my audience.  Once I started to get established, I spent just as much time lobbying the media, academia,  businesses and other organisations asking to speak, to be interviewed and to be included in events to further my activism.  In fact, until last year, I worked a full time unpaid job in activism on top of the full time job I have that pays my rent.  It’s only when it began to take a toll on my health and stress levels that I cut way back on the activism work I was doing, for my own self care.  Consequently, my audience has shrunk again, but I am very grateful for those who are loyal enough to stick around for my more sporadic posts.

As well as being hard work to get any visibility as a fat activist, most of us have to deal with some pretty horrific abuse.  Abuse that is unrelenting – despite my reduction in activism, the abuse has not tailed off even mildly.  It is relentless, always waiting in my email, on my social media accounts, and sometimes in my “real life” spaces.  It will appear on this post, and I will have to get rid of some horrific stuff.

You need to be aware that while it may look like all fun events and free shit for a fat activist on the surface, many of us spend hours and hours dealing with hate groups discussing how they’d like to see us die and suffer, sending us death and rape threats, constant harassment by abusive emails, tweets, Tumblr asks etc, theft and vandalism of our photographs, violent images and horrific pornography sent to us, things that before I started blogging, I would never have believed that another human being would do or say to someone.  Not to mention that it spills over into offline life as well.  I have had people stalk me, death threats sent to my home, hate notes left in my mailbox, been signed up to “obesity clinics” and weight loss centres, had vexatious letters sent to my employer, people abuse me in the street, all manner of crap I’ve had to deal with.  And let’s not get started on the creepers that think we should be grateful for their “fat admiration”.  Sending me unsolicited dick pics is not “admiration”, it’s sexual harassment.

You don’t see it because I don’t want to inflict it on others.  I don’t want to promote the bullying and hate.  I don’t want to give them the attention they crave.  And mostly because I just hit the delete button and get on with my life as best as I can.

Are you willing to deal with these things as a visible activist?  Are you willing to put in the work to get representation in fat spaces?  Are you willing to even acknowledge that these things unfortunately come with the territory of being a visible activist?

Does that mean that I don’t have privilege as a white woman?  No.  I am fully aware that as a white, heterosexual, mostly able-bodied, cis-woman who is lucky enough to currently have full time employment that I have advantages that other people don’t have.  Does it mean that nobody has privilege over me?  No it does not.

What I can, will and already do is signal boost those activists who are speaking up.  I am not trying to win any ally badges, or be given any ally cookies.  I want to promote those who are standing up and speaking out as best I can, because I know what it’s like to be under-represented.  I know what it is like to be on the margins.  Not to mention that I personally prefer to hear the perspectives of people outside of the median.  I can see a dime a dozen pretty, white, smaller fats with plenty of disposable income blogging about fat fashion.  But after a while, the shine wears off and I want to hear about the people who have also fought societal pressure like I have, for whatever reason, even if it is different to mine.  I want to see bodies that both look like mine, and bodies that don’t but are rarely seen anywhere else.  I have more in common with other marginalised people, despite our differences, than I do with the pretty white fatshion bloggers.  My social media platforms are all full of people on the outside, of various identities, because that’s where I have always been myself.

I wholeheartedly support the call for more diverse voices in fat activism.  I want them as much as anyone else does.  But I will not now or ever sit by in silence while someone on a far larger platform than I have access to passive-aggressively holds me up as someone who is “doing it wrong”.   If you don’t like how I dress, represent myself or engage in activism, you go out and do your own.

If you already follow my Facebook feed, my Twitter or my Tumblr, you will already have access to the activists I choose to signal boost.  But I will also do so here, because it seems this is where I garner the most criticism for a lack of representation.

I invite you to share your blogs/accounts and those you like in the comments below as well.  I know I could always use some more.

Note, these are in no particular order, and are not sorted into categories, they’re just as I dig them up from my bookmarks. And are only some of those I follow (I left out any that haven’t posted in a while).

*Unfortunately there are very few men blogging about fat issues, and some of those that are have been caught bullying, harassing and trolling fat women, so I will not support them.  A couple of very good fat blogging men have stopped blogging, which is a real shame.

**Note – please keep this comment thread to sharing links to non-mainstream fat activism and fatshion.  I am not entering into a discussion of whether I’m doing fat activism “right” or that it’s my job to speak for anyone other than myself and those that wish to identify with me.

Not New At All

Published January 3, 2015 by sleepydumpling

Happy New Year!!

This is where I spend at least a month being absolutely astonished that it is 2015 already.  It happens to me every year, you’d think I’d get used to it by now.

I have a love/hate relationship with New Year.  I love the fresh feeling of a new year, all the potential laid out in front of me, even though it’s arbitrary.  I love having Christmas (which is a difficult time for me) behind me.

But for the love of all things sacred, I fucking hate all the resolutions, New Year/New Body/New Me, let’s get fit/get healthy/off the couch, the public announcements of how “good I’m going to be this year” bullshit.  It’s like a fucking tsunami of thinly veiled moralism coated in self aggrandisement.  It’s the once-a-year parade of “Look what a good cookie I am!”

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for self improvement.  I’m all for setting useful goals and working towards them.  That is, improvement and goals that are about being your best you and living your life to the best of your ability, not changing your appearance to meet some societal standard.  I simply believe that these things should a) be all the time, not just on an arbitrary date change and b) NOT be announced publicly to draw attention to what a good little person you are.

A lot of people don’t even realise they’re doing it. They’re not aware of the air of self congratulation, of moral superiority they’re emitting.  Hell, I used to even do it myself, before I realised what a vacuous societal performance it all is.

But most of all, I hate how unaware people are of just how harmful all that bullshit can be for the people they subject it to.  I don’t know about you, but my social media feeds are all a massive minefield of moralising, diet talk, “fitspo”, food policing, and New Year bandwagon jumping.  It has absolutely fucked with my head over the past week or so and I find myself spiraling into some really dangerous territory.  Every day I have to dodge trigger after trigger from people I do love and care about.  I’ve struggled with all of those old dark thoughts about food and eating and dieting to the point where I had to really sit down and work hard to pull my thinking back into a sensible place.  Thankfully, I’ve reached a point in my life where I can recognise it creeping up on me, not everyone has got there yet and the spiral can head downward faster than they can keep up with.  It sends them into a horrible place that takes forever to claw back from.  But that said, even though I can recognise it, I still have to work REALLY hard to undo the damage.

What it all boils down to is needing to engage in real self care.  Which I know is really difficult to do, particularly when your brain is being dragged down a dark path by constant triggers from those around you.  So what I thought I’d do is share with you the things I do that help, and if they are of use to even one of you, it’s worth it.

  1. Use the block, unfriend, hide, mute, list, or whatever functions on social media you can.  Have a purge.  Get rid of the people who deflate you.  For the rest, that you do care about but are hurting you with their New Year crap, hide/mute them or create a list on the site that is ONLY the people who make you feel strong and positive, and focus on that list.  Each site has a bunch of different functionalities, but most of them have options that will at least reduce the harmful crap.  Don’t feel ashamed or harsh for doing this.  You have to take care of you first.
  2. Fill your social media platforms with fabulous people who make you feel strong and positive.  Start a Tumblr following a whole bunch of fat positive accounts.  Follow a bunch of intelligent, witty people on Twitter who bring good things to the table.  Seek out blogs that talk about food in a way that helps you balance your thoughts.  Jump on Facebook and find pages that are by people who share empowering content.  Follow lots of fab feminist accounts of people of marginalised identities on Instagram so you can see representation of lots of awesome diverse people.  Make yourself a playlist on YouTube that fills you with joy.  Whatever social media of your choice, build it in to something that empowers you.
  3. Hang out with someone you know makes you feel good about yourself.  If you have a buddy who suffers from the triggery shit as much as you do, get together and have a good vent about it, and then move on to something positive and fun.
  4. Relax.  Whatever your method of relaxing is, do it.  Take a bath.  Read a book.  Have an orgasm (alone or with someone, doesn’t matter how).  Go for a walk somewhere nice.  Watch a movie that makes you laugh.  Listen to good music.  Have a cup of tea and a biscuit.  Build Lego.  Whatever that thing is that makes you sort of forget time, and just relax… do that.
  5. Make sure you feed yourself.  God this is a tough one.  The downward spiral is ever present for me on this one.  Have breakfast.  Eat lunch.  Get a decent dinner.  It’s easy to skip meals or live off simple things (ramen anyone?) when your brain is being bombarded with triggery stuff.  But if you focus on feeding yourself properly, you will feel better in the long run.
  6. Take your medications.  Yep, that’s one that I find VERY difficult when triggered by New Year shit.  Set an alarm on your phone and take them when it goes off.  Portion them off in a pill box if you need to.  Just get in a routine and take them.  Not taking them makes the downward spiral faster.
  7. Get some sleep.  Even if you have to leave other things undone, get some sleep.
  8. Get some fresh air.  Go outside and fill your lungs.  Just breathe for a while.  We all spend too much time in air-con/heating without getting a little fresh air once and a while.
  9. Treat yo self.  A bunch of flowers.  A really, really good cup of coffee.  A new dress.  Some nice hand cream.  Whatever is a nice little moment of pleasure.
  10. Remember this: You are awesome.  No, you’re not perfect, but you’re awesome.  The only person you need to impress with self improvement is YOU.

lokibetter

Ho! Ho! Ho! It’s That Time of Year!

Published December 14, 2014 by sleepydumpling

Well hello!  I’m still here, I haven’t forgotten about this blog.  You know how it is, life gets busy and all – big end of year projects at work, holiday season planning and events, all that stuff.  But it’s good to make some time to visit here and update for you all.

Since it is that time of year, I thought I’d do a bit of a Christmas list for you all.  Starting with all the things I’d like in my stocking on Christmas Day.

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Oh come on, you TOTALLY knew I was going to go there! :-P

But seriously, now let’s start with some Etsy goodies…

Silk Cotton Owl Scarf from Shovava

Silk Cotton Owl Scarf from Shovava

Laundry Necklace by oronkol

Laundry Necklace by oronkol

Rainbow Cake earrings by shayaaron

Rainbow Cake earrings by shayaaron

Male Tears Teapot by babypietattoo

Male Tears Teapot by babypietattoo

French Fry Leggings from thegeekgarden

French Fry Leggings from thegeekgarden

Now, from elsewhere on the interwebs…

I have been a fan of Erstwilder for many years now, and own quite a few of their pieces.  But these two are in my SQUEE I WANT IT list!

Seth sloth by Erstwilder

Seth sloth necklace by Erstwilder

Trixie Bunny Honey by Erstwilder

Trixie Bunny Honey brooch by Erstwilder

I’m sure  you’re all aware how much I love a good frock.  And if it is covered in quirky prints, even better still.  Modcloth seldom fail to satisfy in that department:

You're In Luck dress in Pie by Modcloth

You’re In Luck dress in Pie by Modcloth

Hooked on a Canine dress by Modcloth

Hooked on a Canine dress by Modcloth

Mew-seum Visit dress by Modcloth

Mew-seum Visit dress by Modcloth

Prancing in the Reindeer dress by Modcloth

Prancing in the Reindeer dress by Modcloth

And finally, because I’m a big kid at heart, there’s always Lego on my Christmas list!

Volkswagon Campervan by Lego

Volkswagon Campervan by Lego

Guardians of the Galaxy Milano Spaceship Rescue by Lego

Guardians of the Galaxy Milano Spaceship Rescue by Lego

But I won’t leave you there.  I love to give gifts as well as receive them, so here are some things I would love to give as Christmas gifts this year.

William McInnes’ latest book, “Holidays“, which is a fantastic beach read.

I was lucky enough to go to see William at Chermside Library this week.  I’ve been a fan of his since I was 15 (that’s a LONG tme!) so I’m always chuffed to go see him.  Look, here we are, both being adorable.  I still don’t know why Will has a tiny Christmas tree.

IMG_5601

I can’t resist posting this pic!

Ahem!

I got one of these in my most recent Bellabox (also an excellent gift idea) and it’s bloody fantastic.  I chip nailpolish in about 2 hours post application.  I had this stuff on all week and it is still flawless.  In fact, I just reapplied another layer to fill in where my nails have grown, and it still looks fabulous.  Easy to use, the light is compact and runs off either USB or mains power, and the colours are great.  The one above (that I have) is called “Gone Fission”.

Library Lover keep cup from ALIA

Library Lover keep cup from ALIA

What can I say, I know a lot of librarians.  And most of us a full on coffee-hounds.

Lego Cufflinks by BingJewelry

Lego Cufflinks by BingJewelry

I also know many a nerdy dude who would dig these.

This adorable Paddington Bear from the ABC shop.

This adorable Paddington Bear from the ABC shop.

Because Paddington Bear is one of my favourites from when I was a kid, and there’s a new movie coming out!

Anyway, I wish all of you the most wonderful of holiday seasons, whatever your stripe as my Grandma says and if you are interested in any of the goodies above, click on the photos to go to the websites for them.

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